complicated...?

haha..today very happy from the moment i wake up this morning, so my whole day is with happy mood and feeling. last night i almost 2am only went to sleep, i chat with friend until forget the time even i very tired also. thats why today when i wake up, i feel very tired and sleepy wish to sleep again for few minutes after you wake me up by sms me, but you keep on sms me and make me cannot fall asleep and reply your message said that i were woke up then i go to prepare my stuff to attend my first lesson for new semester. finally i can know my result when i meet my head department she told me my result and tomorrow i have to meet her again for more detail. tonight i really need to rest early, because i feel like not enough sleep. today i check back my planning sheet i only know that i am kinda slow i have to work harder to finish and graduate as soon as possible if not i also don't know when will i graduate...hmm...i seldom can have happy mood like today. today i only learn 1 new thing from someone..that is..no matter is love or friendship or what if is not yours it wouldn't belong on you it sure will leave you on one day..i understand this theory if apply in love, but if apply in friendship, i now only learn it and realize it as well...maybe that is not belong on me as well..it might just a part of my life, thanks to come and become a part of my life..not everyone can get back the things that you lose it, i wearing a present from my mum few years ago but i lost it today, luckily i can found it at somewhere, i understand that i not the person who can always so lucky and get back the thing i lost..i know the thing keep on get back previously but today...i know it correctly that i will lose it forever..wouldn't be back anymore..i sure that..even don't wish that happen on me, i think also useless to say or do anything right now..its too late..

i believe

again today is rainy day, i feel very cold. today i have a different feeling with the rainy day for past few days. i feel today's the rainy day and inside my feeling is same, perhaps is crying silently. this morning i wake up by my little niece she knock my door and wake me up, so cute hehe..actually before she knock the door i wake up by those relatives noises and sms with someone but i get a shock news that i don't ever think will happen on me, i did not tell anyone unless her. she is not my friend even i hope i can be friend with her but i know her and she know me too, i told her the shock news then she ask me 1 question that i also don't know how to answer. start from tomorrow i will change it, totally change it someone make me change it, i couldn't take it i will lock it with password that no one will know and enter it. i also don't wish become like this but it seem like its the best way for me right now, hmm, tomorrow having my first class for new semester, is a new and hard challenge for me in this semester but i will try my best to take it because i have to do it no matter how hard it is, i don't want waste my time on useless thing and stuff. to make a decision is need many brave to do it, once you decide then don't turn back, cannot regret and cannot keep on think others to make yourself lose your own direction again, once you lost your direction you are hard to find it. i haven't make a decision, i guess i will have the decision soon..i believe..

rainy day

today feel very tired, feel tonight must sleep early. this few days is rainy day, so the weather is not very hot and is nice to sleep at night. afternoon i went to shopping with my family at Sungai Wang, because they want to buy some stuff for themselves so i just follow them instead stay at home alone. mum looking for new shoe, dad looking for camera then i looking nothing i just follow them hehe...i accompany them go to find shoes shop, i just walk around with them as i also long time no go there. at the same time there also having a competition about the changes for 15 girls in 28 days after using Adonis see which girl can get the highest mark then she will be the winner. at there i saw Malaysia top model Amber Chia and Hong Kong Actress Myolie Wu, both are beauty. ok back to the title, for me i quite like the rainy day as well because i feel like is just same like human when you face something that you cannot take it and feel want cry you may do it, then after cry you will be better than you force yourself that not crying. someone told me that when the weather is rainy day there is someone crying, i also don't know whether the person said that is correct or not, but every time raining i will ask myself is there anyone crying again in a corner that we don't know? hehe..sound like a bit stupid, i also long time no meet the person as well, perhaps i am avoiding the person..hehe..but rainy day really give me a feeling that after i release my stress and those sadness in my heart. maybe not everyone like the rainy day as well because they will feel raining have to bring umbrella and cannot wear this and that, but i like it haha..this weather is really nice to sleep..so wish tonight can have a nice sleep before my new semester is going to start..i like rainy and cloudy day as well..

thank you..

every time i start my blog with today feel like bit sien..just now i went out for dinner with my mother because she need to go boutique to take something, but she don't really know the exactly place for the boutique so she drive the car keep on finding but still cannot find it. then we decide go to eat dinner after that only go to find again, so we go to eat steamboat. i just can eat the soft food others my mum finish it hahaha.. because i also feel hard to eat anything so i try to eat slowly perhaps i can finish all the food, but those soft food actually also hard to swallow it. after that we go to find the boutique again, finally we find it. the shop is bigger than previous shop, is nicer and the worker i just can recognize 1 worker, and another 1 i don't recognize maybe is new worker. the worker that i can recognize help my mother take some cloth for her to test, some i feel quite nice but some maybe not suitable for my mother so she just take few cloth at last, then i also get 1 cloth from the shop. today i finish the movie that i want to watch from youtube, finally i can finish it by today erm, quite nice for me but i know that not everyone like it. and actually i also want to thanks that you accompany me while your colleague is on leave and try to make me happy or even say joke to me..so i know i will appreciate what you did today..thanks..

i will bear with it as well..

today..feel very hungry, very very hungry wish can have a nice breakfast when i open my eye from sleeping. last night i very early went to sleep, even you sent me message i also no reply, i thought i can have a nice sleep, but i am not. i always awake from sleeping last night, erm, i think more than 3 times i awake from sleeping. i also not sure what thing make me keep on awake from sleeping, but once i awake i just got 1 feeling that is painful. that is why i keep on want sleeping because sleep can let me temporary forget the painful, nothing i can do with the braces even dentist said if i can't bear the pain then just eat the panadol but i don't want, i know i can bear the painful as well. but this morning when i wake up i feel the painful feeling is worst than yesterday, i tell myself never mind i can do that, i sure can pass through the pain with myself..it is very very hard to do it, even though i know i will get the pain when i decide to put braces..i still have 2 or 3 more years to go for the braces, which mean i wear this braces more than 1 year, in this 1 year i did not eat any painkiller when i bear with the pain because i don't wish to eat that that is why i continue bear with it..but this time is very very pain, until i almost give up and eat painkiller..no matter open or close mouth i feel the pain, even sneeze or eat i also have to be careful. who can understand the feeling well? i understand that beauty need to pay the price, after go through those painful i will get a nice teeth..perhaps i really can go through those painful as well..

p/s: just now your support to me i appreciate,but i sure you will forget again once you busy with your work, even though you apologize to me that you can't accompany because of your work, but you wouldn't understand that when i need your comfort i always get nothing even i understand why you work so hard..i know you tired and work hard but i also wouldn't make you feel that i am your burden for you.

19/8/08

today i went to dentist there for check up, i almost late for the appointment luckily i not late..haha..i run all the way but still late for few minutes..lucky no one scold me..don't know why every time almost need spend 1hour at there, the guy dentist keep on check my teeth and braces then he exchange his opinion with another dentist after that he also do the thing that he suppose to do for me..the guy dentist is the dentist that he will check my braces when i have the appointment..he check my braces quite detail and he no careless for everything while he help every patient checking..wah..he really make my teeth pain and make the braces more tight..while he help me make my braces tight i feel very pain, and also put the elastic on my braces..dentist also teach me the way wear the elastic and he also said that the elastic everyday have to change once after dinner and have to wear it 24 hour..oh my god, that will make me hard to open my mouth to talk because feel like something make my mouth cannot open wide..and my dinner..i also don't know what i have to eat..so i just drink some hot drink and mushroom for my dinner, hope tomorrow will be feel better and i forget the pain of the braces..erm..feel like don't know how many days cannot talk much..hmm..don't know who can understand my feeling right now leh...???

thanks for everything..

today i received a message from the one of the person who i very care, that is my brother..obviously he is not my real brother, but he is a very good friend of mine and i always treat him as my brother, and he also treat me as his sister..actually i quite glad that i can know him from online game then we leave each other contact number and keep contact until now..i know him already 3 years, in this 3 years even though argued with him but our relationship still the same without changes..just now his message make me feel very happy and his word useful to me. he won't force me do something that i dislike and will help me if i need his help, sometime i am thinking if he really is my brother what will happen? is it still same like now? or worst than my relationship with my real brother? haha..in this 3 years he and me pass through everything, many people will suspect what is our relationship? couple? best friend? sister and brother? or what? even my mum also will ask me why i so close with him? i just answer her that he is my very good friend that i very appreciate, me and he share everything no matter in study, love, live and many..very thanks his message for me, his message really give me a lots of support. even though now he at Kampar studying luckily he still remember me this jie jie as well..hehe..di di..jie jie very happy that can know you, and i sure you know what jie jie treat you also..thanks i really appreciate..

everything change..

last night actually is should be a happy day, but something change. it can say totally change on me, because of that i only realize that this world is too cruel, really cruel.. after cry i feel better, i tell myself..i must be happy no matter what happen, i still got my friend around me and support me..yesterday really appreciate my good friend stay beside me even she studying her Law. .she is the person who know me quite well among all my friend, really want say thank you and appreciate oh..i know everything happen sure have reason but i will treat it as a challenge in my life..i still remember what promises i gave and i will do it as well. even though you give up on me, but i want you know that i will always remember your advise..ok la..i don't want my own story i not want share my problem at here, but i just want let you know that i can be better and stand up again and will not lose my direction. i know you teach me very hard and i know i am your failure example for you but i will prove to you i will do it..no matter how hard i will continue sustain and do my thing as well..don't worry friend, i promise you all that i can be back my own self and can be better because i also want change myself and make a list to me and let me do for everyday!!!

i will not give up..

why this few days there are many things happen around me?last night my friend suddenly change her personal message in msn then my another friend ask me what happen and make me feel blur what is going on. is it somebody wish to watch great movie on me that is why keep on making trouble on me? or the person want to test me that is why make so many thing behind on me? actually what is that person's motive? i know it well, you want me beg on you don't do anything because you know too many things about me? you think will i beg you to stop all those thing right now? from last night until now i also try my best and tell my best that cannot mix up and do not mix up,i must change that. every problem i having now i just treat it as my challenge for me in my life, my friend ask me how am i going to solve the problem? i no answer them,i just said i will handle it by myself and wouldn't let same thing happen on me again. i thought after we graduate from secondary our problem can solve it automatic, but you still keep on search my news after graduate till now? will you feel what you do from past till now is very childish? will you feel bored? is tat the thing you can make on me?? if you think a bit failure will make me fall down and couldn't stand up again then you can watch a great movie on me, then i will tell you that it will not happen for me, i am not the person you know in secondary school..

i wouldn't mix my personal thing with other

today my mood not very good actually, but my boss realize it. i did not tell him that i not in mood, but he could realize that, and he can keep on advise me until i get what he mean. he told me that he vomit many blood for just advise me and make me understand what he teach me. i also promise he that i wouldn't mix my personal thing with other, and i rarely heard he said great to me. it is a great feeling when he said great to me. wahaha..really happy when he said that to me. after that i feel better, and know what should i do for next. i really need many activities to gain more experience and let mind mindset open bit. even though i still having my semester break for two weeks, but seems like my mood not very happy at all..there are too many things happen around me, until i also don't know how should i take it. luckily now i feel better. thank you and i appreciate what you teach me before even though you always say that you vomit blood until i understand what you mean. ok, back to my title, i wouldn't mix my personal thing and wouldn't let those thing make me lost and control my emotion. so it mean whenever and whatever thing happen i cannot and wouldn't mix it when i face anyone, and also mean whatever thing also cannot affect my emotion. i know is hard to handle my emotion but i will try my best to do it. human emotion is related with the thing you care, if the thing you care you will easily get angry, if the thing you not really care then you will not easily get angry no matter what other people do or did on the thing you dislike. form now on i will try to change, not try i will change it..!!

my dream holiday- hong kong

today i want to write a blog about my dream holiday- hong kong. as i said in my previous blog, today i going to continue the detail about the blog. if can i wish i can go traveling with my bf, i don't care the trip is 3 days 2 nights or 5 days 4 nights as long i can go with my bf then i satisfy with the trip. i also hope the trip can bring me many sweet memory between me and my bf, so that me and him can go shopping together, eat together, play together, enjoy together, take photo together and many things. of course i just dream about it and he don't know i dream this, haha..maybe shy to let him know??? if i really can travel with my bf to hong kong i want to eat many great food at there, as many people say hong kong is a nice place to shopping and eat. therefore i wish i can go there have a look and visit my aunt who stay at there. maybe i will go hong kong Disneyland have a look and can play and walk at there at night i think it is a great things for traveling such as the fantasy land and the it's a small world. other than that i also wish i can go ladies street,pacific place, city plaza,and north of lantau island to watch dolphin. if go hong kong i think i can gain my weight because i know the food is very delicious such as egg tarts,pineapple bun,wantan mee,dim sum,cha siu bao and many. i just thinking also feel wanna fly to there and have a try on every food...but..that just my dream,perhaps i really can have the chance to there..





p/s today i made 2 people angry about me, 1 is my best friend and another 1 is my boss...sorry to both of you...

it will end soon..

what thing will end soon?? i very tired to waiting those promises don't know when will come true,and also don't know what the point that i wait for the promises. how many times that i said to you that i don't wish and expect any promises from anyone,but how many times i do it i also don't know. boss today ask me if i have rm3000 what will i do? will i go penang or hong kong for travel? i said of course is hong kong. then he continue ask me what my plan if i really go hong kong for travel? i reply he i will bring my bf or my mum for traveling. he ask again,if wit bf what is my plan? i said of course wish can go with bf travelling together, eat together, enjoy together, take photo together some more got a people help me take my things, care together, shopping together and many lo..i know what the point he keep on ask me question,but certain indescribable feeling in my heart...certain thing i know i need to give up for certain reasons but certain thing i don't think i will give up easily. which thing is worth for me to continue and which thing is really can give up??? long time me and you didn't chat long and chat our problem we facing everyday,slowly and slowly feel that we not like previous time is it i think too much or i don't want talk my problem with you??perhaps all those unanswered question will end soon..

i believe i can do it...

ytday after met my boss,i did think many. i knw he juz wan i dun continue like now,n i oso knw tat he care me as well. thx lo..hehe..wat i nid to do nw is slowly build up my confident, then i oni can do the thing i wan. i knw wat i wan n i will do it oso. my prob is the main thng tat stop me so i nid to solve my prob n make sure it wouldnt mix up wit other thng. i believe tat i can do it as well, i knw wat i wan n knw how to do it. perhaps i juz lost my direction for temporary, m i giving myself an excuses?i dont know,maybe my boss will feel it too...haha..i thnk my boss sure wan vomit n feel i very hard to teach..my slogan for today is i believe i can do it...perhaps i wouldn't make u down again..hehe..

thank you..

Today i have a meeting with a friend,can he consider as my friend?i don't think so,seems like him do more than a friend will do,him teach me many thing and i have learn many thing from him,i think i call he as my boss or my teacher is suitable...haha.. I do very appreciate the things that him teach me,advises,and many from him. Maybe he know i appreciate maybe he didn't know,it doesn't matter because i know that i appreciate everything that he teach me is enough. Is fate that i can know him, and he always beside me. As he said to me there is something stop me even though i know those theory that he told me, i don't know whether i admit or not but i sure he know there is something stop me. I know i always make he disappointed to me,but he still did not give up wanna thank to him. i just want to tell you that your advises i know and i will think about it..erm...i believe i can prove it to you, perhaps i can become the girl who confidently bet with you during cny..

How are you?

Actually i quite worry about you,recently i know you facing some problem and you couldn't solve it. I knew what is your problem and did give you advise about that,but i can understand your feeling as well. I know you don't wish you make a wrong decision and make yourself regret, that is why until now you still thinking about that problem and make yourself unhappy. No matter what happen i just wish you can be happy,and friends are around and accompany you. When i chat with you i also can feel that you unhappy but i just keep quiet and accompany chat with you. We told each other many thing that others don't know,then we comfort each other,maybe others will think we are crazy but we just lend our hand when friend need and try to help them, even can't help them we still can accompany them at least they wouldn't feel alone. Sincerely hope you can happy back soon and you can get your way to solve your problem as well, no matter what decision you make i sure will support you because i know every decision that you make sure have your own reason. Don't forget that if you need help you can find me, i will share with you and accompany you when you need all the time. Lastly i wish to say thank that when i facing my problem you always accompany me and share with me. Wish our friendship can last forever, and always be happy.

Welcome to my purple world blog!

i decided to improve my english by writing in my purple blog everyday.

Err, this morning my consultant persuaded me some HTML tips for this bloggie, but I guessed he must have been a lil fed up teaching a slow-learner like me a.k.a noobAss! LoL ~ This bloggie is a bit different from what I’m doing in Friendster’s bloggie and that is why I don’t get what my consultant was teaching. Just need a lil time to get used to this bloggie, a bit complicated especially with the codings but I’m gonna master it no matter how! Kekeke

Oh yah, I’m gonna post up some daily stuff in my bloggie.