End of 2010 (part 2)

Finally reach the last day of 2010.
What kind of feeling you have when reach the last day of 2010?
For me,there is nothing much special feel to 2010;
It's because i hardly have happy moment.
Although i got no much happy memories in 2010,
but i still appreciate the thing i passed through.

Everyone is planing where to count down and many,
although i wish to join my friend for count down;
but end up i choose stay at home bbq with my relatives.=)
For others,maybe will feel bored,
but actually not enjoy with friends,it do bring you another type of feeling.
How long you spend with your family?
Do you spend your time with your friends,lover,career more than parent?

Maybe it will become bit bored if bbq with relatives,
but i think it can be fun to play around with cousins while bbq.=]
I should appreciate the time can enjoy with cousins,
i know that kind of moment will be the best memories.

There are many things i haven't done,
there are many things i had done;
there are many things that i wish to done.
Too bad for the thing i haven't done,
Great that for the things i done no matter how i done it.

What is your wishes in 2011?
For me, i wish everything can goes smooth for everyone,
the thing i haven't done in 2010,i will complete it in 2011.xD
Hopefully after the things i passed through in 2010,
can bring me another experience of life and mind set.

No matter how you gonna spend your last day,
i wish that could have the memorable day for you.
Let's enjoy the moment before 2010 end,
and get ready for 2011 ^^
"Happy New Year "

End of 2010 (part 1)

I shall say goodbye to 2010,and shall welcome 2011.
Wonder why these few days keep remind some memories.
No matter sweet or sad, all come into my mind.
In this years,there were many things happened on me,
it really makes me exhausted and upset.
Hope in the new year, everything will be fine.

I'm surprise when you got into my memories,
although you never appreciate me and the thing i did to you.
Honestly,i never blame how you treat me.
I know i'm silly for not blaming you with the way you treat me.
Yet you give me the chance to become tough after you hurt me.
But i also clear that was just a part of my memories.
I'll start my new chapter after i leave with happily.

I'm glad that i can know "you",
even "you" told me that we did meet before,
but too bad that "you" and me also can't remember when "we" meet.
"you" do give me lots of support when i need.
"you" do helps me alot when i need.
"you" are the person who make me fall to "you".

Although i don't know what will happen to "you" and me.
I know "you" busy with your work,and stress with it.
But i never say much about that and just keep waiting "you" online.
Sometime i also asking myself,what am i doing?
I clear that which role i playing in front of "you",
and i also appreciate the role i having right now in front of "you".
Hope we can have chance to meet again when "you" back from England.

Other than that, i realized in my memories there include others.
Which is friendship and family and others.
I'm glad that when i need,my friends stay beside me as well.
Although i very envy those people having partner,
but i know i will have a guy who really love me in future.
So i decided spend more time with my friends and family as well.
At the same time,i will spend time to "you".

I hope my exist can bring "you" comfortable,happy.
I'll try to hide my feeling toward "you" until "you" get your answer.
I'll do the thing i promise "you"
I don't wish the way i fall to "you" bring "you"troublesome.
So.....shhh...just keep it...^^

就让一切回到原点.

就让一切回到原点. Let's back to the beginning.
How come i will have such feeling?
It is because i realize something on yesterday,
what is it?how to say...hmm....
Maybe shall say with this way, which is......
I misunderstand someone's feeling towards me.
Is that clear? How can i feel so?
When i feel it, what is the first thing come to my mind?
I feel so that im very silly,how can i misunderstand?
I keep laughing myself how can i so stupid.
I guess many people will say im stupid and naive as well.

I do hope,what i feel is not true just i think much.
But too bad,that is fact.
Although i know the fact,i still remain silent.
I know nothing i can say at the moment.
Remain silent is the best way for me,at least now.
Im so sorry that i misunderstand "you".

At first,i suspect i fall to you,but i keep deny in my mind.
But slowly i realize,im cheat my own if i deny.
Therefore,i admit my feeling toward you.
When the moment "you" know,"you" said let us go slow.
At that moment i was so happy,
because i thought that was hint from "you".

When i fall sick,your concern make me feel warm and lovely,
at that moment i thought you fall to me.
Until the misunderstand happened between you and me,
you told me that you started fall to me,
i am happy,at the same time surprise and worry.
I know im nt the perfect girl you looking for.

After the misunderstand happen,i never happy at all.
And i slowly realized there is some uncertain feeling,
Am i in a dream when the moment you told me you started fall to me?
Because i cannot feel that you fall to me,but i ignore it.
I dont want know the truth of your feeling.

I repeat looking the messages between you and me,
in my opinion,you got bit bit fall to me.
But until yesterday,i knew that was just my dream,
you are rational,know what you want in your life.
And you are good in hiding yourself,do you know it?
Because of that,i not sure are you really started to fall to me?
I choose to not ask you,i no dare to know.

I know i can ask you straight forward,but i don't wish.
Actually i can guess it from your words and attitude,
i know you are just looking for a sincere friendship,
and i don't wish our friendship ruin by my stupid.
I do care the friendship between you and me.

When you ask me who is the guy fulfill my requirement,
i answered you a guy,but not telling you who is he.
I escape the question even i do wish to say it out.
Honestly,you are the only one person who fulfill my requirement,
even i not sure do you know who is the guy.
But since you no ask,and i also no tell you who is he.

Maybe is better if you din't keep ask,make me hard to answer.
I appreciate it.
Even i very wish to be with you,but i guess i will hide it.
Hide in the deepest place for now
I guess is better for us,even i don't even know do we have chance.
Anyway,i just know i'll hide my feeling toward you,
Maybe until you got the right person in your life.

p/s: know that you not feeling well in England,
i do very worry and i did not over concern you as a friend,
because i don't wish my over concern bring you troublesome.
Therefore i choose to concern as a friend,
although i don't know your exactly feeling toward me,
but i guess i will not ask you anymore;
until you tell me your feeling.

Merry X'mas

Oh no!! My final is on next week!!!
But x'mas is on next week too
It makes me feel no much mood to study
o.O that's terrible right?

X'mas.............sigh
I really wish to have a memorable X'mas with "you"!!
but too bad, i know it might not happen
Anyway, i still will buy "you" a x'mas gift as what i promise "you"
no matter will i have the chance to pass it to you

I know what can i do after the argument happened
i understand your feeling as well,
honestly, i never blame you at all..
i do keep waiting to get your message from other country,
seems like waiting is the thing i can do now.

I always is you good girl as i promise you,
i do always listen your advice,
i very wish you can stay beside me right now,
but i know now i can't too rely on you.

I know im not the perfect one in this world,
i m appreciate that you share your feeling with me,
i guess you also know my feeling as well,
what will it be,no one will know.

Anyway, i really wish "you" can have a nice x'mas,
although i don't know how will you celebrate it,
but i still hope "you" can enjoy it as well,
because i just hope that "you" will happy in your life.xD

Bad Sign

Today i not feel happy with certain thing,certain words.
After my "personal doctor" dissapear for 3 days, finally "personal doctor" appear in my msn.
Thank god that i finally can chat with "personal doctor", but too bad we argued when we chatted.
It was first time that we argued because of misunderstand, and no matter how i explain i know "personal doctor" will not trust me anymore.
Shall i leave or waiting a chance to explain to "personal doctor" that was just misunderstand?
I really don't know what shall i do for this moment, i know why "personal doctor" so sad.
I really hope time can stop at friday night, that was special day for me; that day was the day i can feel the concern and worry from "personal doctor", that was so warm and lovely for me.
After that day, "personal doctor" did not online for few days, in these few days i keep waiting him to online and chat with me before he fly to a country which far from me.
A day,2 days, he no online,i really scare that was just a dream for me and him, because he never like this before,i really scare. Do you understand my feeling??

I really wish time can stop at the moment on friday night,really wish too,but i know time will not stop of anyone. I decided to post "so wish the time can stop at there, too bad it can't", actually it mean i really don't wish you fly to a country that far from me, i really wish the weekend will not come.
I know because of this you think that i patch back with others, i also told you that i won't, i kidding with you that unless you are my bf; it mean i will not patch back with others yet i wish we can go further.
3 days that we never chat, when the day we chat, we argued and you doubt with my words.
It was really hard for me when you suspect my honesty, do you know it?
Never thought that our 1st argue happened on today, but surprisingly i know in certain point, our mindset could connect.
For example, i do wish to say to you that get a special gift or present from england with kidding; but you told me that you planned to give me a wonderful gift for me on xmas; n i do plan to buy a present for you.
I know this will not come true anymore, as the thing you passed in past.
Is it we got no fate to go further? Or am i expect too much? I got no idea with it.

p/s:
Sincerely, i really wish you can happy and we can meet when the day you come back.
But too bad, based on the current situation, i don't think that will come true to you and me.
I know no matter what i said, you will not believe anymore, but i still choose to explain to you as i don't wish there is any single misunderstand occur between us and make us regret in our life.

Bad Day

Never thought that today will be my bad day, even not the worst.
I wait for almost whole day, my dear wiffy do not reply any single message in msn; and then personal doctor also dissapear in my list.
Am i really been fooled? I not sure, perhaps im not.
Really really in a down mood...>.<
I guess "personal doctor" is busy preparing for his stuff for leaving here and go to a country far away from me; although i know when will "personal doctor" come back here, perhaps we can do it.
I really don't know what shall i say, but i really wish to chat with you; too bad tonight i don't think we got the chance to chat at all......
Hope to see you tomorrow and chat with you as well...really wish too...^^

sick

I very scare that the thing i having now will gone at next moment, especially when i din't see your name appear in my list.
I started scare and worry that will the memories,words you said to me was just a joke?
Started changed my mood from happy to moody, after that i found out i not feeling well...
It's so suffering.....stomach really drive me crazy, i hate the pain...!!
I had skipped my class for today, and consult doctor as well and got the MC slip for today..
Doctor advise me avoid oily food,and spicy food due to my stomach not feeling well...sigh..
After few hours i consult doctor, i saw your name appear in my list.

I was soooo happy, but sad that you no find me...
Later on, i saw your name appear again and you find me for chatting..
Surprisingly, from the way we chat you found out that i not happy and ask me why?
After i told you, i noticed that you worry and concern from your word.
I'm glad that you so concern about me, and the way you comfort me really nice, although there is nothing special, but i can feel that you really worry about me.
I told you that your word same with how the doctor talked to me, and you said that you can be my doctor, i told you that if you really wish to be my personal doctor, i will welcome you as well as long you want it.
You told me that you wish to, after that i agree you be my doctor.....sound funny right?
Then you asked me that do i feel better? i answered that ya,feel much better.
You become not that worry, after that i asked you what will you do to me when i not feel well?
You asked me what i need from you? I answered that depend what can you give me.
You laugh and said i'm smart and throw back the question to you, i continued ask what will you give me? You will make sure i sleep well, eat well and live well.
I asked just that? You answered this is what you can think about and asked me back what else i need?
I said since that is the thing you can give me,so i will accept it until we got the extra status i only will request more from you; and i know this is what you think about.
You answered me ya,what i said is same with what you think and you told me that you are happy to chat with me.

I know something cannot be force at this moment, and i also know that we did say will go slowly
I know you worry and concern about me after i told you that i not well
I know i did promise you that i will be your good girl, i will extra careful in my meal
Because i know if i sick, you will feel sad so i don't want you sad
Therefore i will extra careful in my meal and be your good girl as well.
Even i don't know can we together in future, but i really just to be your good girl and make you happy.
Too bad that you need to fly back to England next week, i hope we will keep in touch!!^^

Mixed Feeling

Recently having mixed feeling although i know why..
Yesterday not really sleep well, keep awake for whole night...*sigh*
Luckily i not really tired, still able chatting around with my friend.
Today i feel very happy compare with yesterday...
because of...................*hehe*
After turn on my happy mood, i really feel nice..
Especially after chat with you...
The moment i chat with you really nice....*wakaka*
Too bad, i don't know how long could it be;but i do try my best to maintain it as i can..
I wish to leave good impression...
I hope that we can keep on contact so that we can exchange our life in different country.
Although in different country, i hope everything is goes smooth in our life...
Sincerely wish us have a good memories....*smile*

p/s:
Happy actually is a kind of feeling..
A simple thing or action can make someone become happy.
Mood can influence someone's feeling,
No matter good or bad, we shall smile everyday.
Smile to those who make you feel hurt, and thanks them as well.
Smile to those who make you happy, because you enjoy the happy moment.
Everyone can happy no matter what happen, just depend how you look at it.
Guy, if you found out my blog, i really wish that you could put down your sadness and happy always. Be the happy person, so that your life will become wonderful ^^