L.O.L !!

"When a person fall in love, IQ of the person will become lower."
I wonder how true is this all the while, but i think i can understand it now.
I partly agree with the statement above, but not fully agree;
i have seen some cases around me and i wonder how could i help them.......

Due to a stupid reason, i choose to wake up earlier to complete my incomplete task;
and keep remind myself have to finish it as soon as possible but......................
When the moment i going to finish my task, i only realize how stupid am i....

It seems like angel and devil of my body fighting with each other for few hours,
angel said : you have to complete current task as you have another task to complete;
devil said: you should sleep for few more hours because you're tired and sleepy.
In the end angel won, but devil keep disturbing and persuading the owner listen to it.

I keep remind myself that i have another incomplete task,
therefore i stay awake and complete current task.
While i doing my task i received a call from my college mate,
i become her listener for an hour while complete my task.

Finally im going to complete my current task, i tell myself just left little bit go ahead....
But....a call ruined my expectation and started to feel how stupid am i.
"Changing always faster than planning, it can ruin your plan just for a second."

When i done all my task, i asked myself
Why am i so stupid wake up so earlier just for a stupid reason and people?
Why am i expect everything goes smooth as what we plan?
Why? Why? Why? Why? Why?

The reason i wake up so early become an unnecessary thing,
just because i hopes to stay beside you when you need me;
therefore i choose to awake earlier to done all my incomplete task,
in the end i feel i useless because you dont ever need me at all.

Since nobody need me, why am i so stupid and rush like nobody?
It is very very funny, i sacrifice my sleeping time just to complete my task;
this is what i get from you...Hahahahahaha......
Perhaps i should listen to devil, sleep few more hours for my own good.

Unknown side vs unknown feeling

This will be the first time ever i scroll down to view his Facebook homepage,
When the moment i scroll down to view his homepage there are few strange feelings.

This is not the first time i view his homepage in Facebook,
But this will be the first time i allow myself scroll down to view his profile.

Can i just assume myself overcome my fear to view his Facebook profile?
I don't ever understand why am i allow myself to scroll down and have a look on that,
It has been more than half years i know him, but i dare not view his profile so detail.

I'm afraid i can't take it, i'm afraid i jealous, i'm afraid i sad and so on........
I'm surprise that i never stop my hand to scrolling down to view his profile,
accidentally i found another side of him i never see before.

What a complicated feeling after view his profile,
until i don't know how to express my feeling as well.

I feel sad when i saw those emo post in his profile,
I feel complicated when i saw those photos i shouldn't see.
I always know what is the reason makes me stop scrolling down to view his page,
after viewing it makes me feel he has the unknown side which i never see before;
I really hopes he can get a right girl whom he loves and care her till the end of his life.

Although his past experience had similar with my past experience,
and i hopes we can learn the right way to threat people through our past experiences.
I hopes we can appreciate all the things we have in our life, 
and thank god and fate make us meet in this world,
and let us fall in love to each other, hopes we can be the right person for each other.

Dear, just erase our past experience and appreciate what we have right now.
Through out all the memories, i believe we know how to threat each other.
I can't predict what will happen to our future, but i sincerely hope the promises you made will come true.

雨天的心情

雨，一直下一直下

这个天气真的让我觉得好舒服，好想冲出去淋雨。

不过，这也只能想象罢了，我可不想在这个时候生病呢。

想着想着，几乎每一次我心情不好的隔天都会是雨天；

是自己想太多了呢还是碰巧？？

好啦好啦，就直接进入正题吧。

谁可以告诉我，在一段感情世界里，怎样才可以避免被言语伤害?

看来是我自己不懂得保护我自己，才会去介意身边的人的语言。

或者是我太在乎身边人对我的评论了才会让我介意。

还是我自己给了机会让别人伤害我呢？

应该没有人喜欢被人比较吧，而偏偏你拿我来比较。

当我听到你对我和别的女生的比较时，我该哭还是笑呢？

每个人都是独立的个体，谁也取代不了谁，因为是独一无二的。

想必这个道理应该很多人都知道吧，

不拿别人来比较是属于一种基本的尊重。

每个人都有自己的优缺点，而爱一个人就得包容一切。

包容并不是这么简单就可以办得到的，需要时间慢慢的磨炼看清人格。

我一直警惕自己不可以拿你来跟任何人比较，因为你是你，他们是他们。

然而我也知道一旦比较了，会让你更加没有信心，

所以我一直认为只要我认为你是好的，别人怎么看你，

这一切并不重要因为跟你相处的人是我而不是别人。

可是，因为你的一句话却让我这么念念不忘，

那句话一直盘旋在我的脑海里，一直无法释怀。

或许你就不知道依据你无心的话却让我久久不忘，这是自找的吗？

或许，我该减少对你的依赖。

或许，我该独立些。

或许，我该减少对你的在乎。

或许，我该多疼爱自己。

或许，我该填补我自己的时间。

或许，我该寻找自己。

或许，我该大方点给你自由空间。

或许，我该改变。

可是，当这一切一切的改了，

这会是原来那位吸引你的女生吗？

还会是当初令你心跳加速的女生吗？

我，真的该改变好让我们之间减少磨擦吗？

如果改了，就会好多吗？

莫名袭来的感觉

莫名袭来的感觉


这种莫名袭来的感觉究竟该把列入怎样的感觉呢？？


我自己也不懂该如何去解释这种感觉，讨厌讨厌这种感觉。


再慢慢平复自己的心情后，我慢慢的反思究竟是为了什么我会这样？


我想大概是我自己太在乎了吧？


我想大概是我自己太怕了？


我想大概是自己太依赖了？


我想大概是我自己高估了自己的本事吧。


在自己不开心的时候，习惯性的重复播着同样的歌曲。


或许是你自己不会了解我此刻的心情吧，如此地怕失去，如此地大反应。


即使向你说了我自己的内心感觉，你真的会明白吗？？


反复的想着你对我说的话，可是我没有勇气。


昔日的勇气，不见了。现在的我，却什么也做不到。


朋友们像是看穿了我内心世界，无论我说什么他们都知道我的心意。


朋友们，你们的关心，我收到了，我还可以撑下去，必要时会找你们。


至于你，只有你自己比任何人清楚你心里最在乎的是哪位吧？？


至于有没有一个位置容得下我的，我真的不懂。


就当作我是鸵鸟吧，毕竟那是你自己的心，只有你清楚。

以前 . 破灭

今晚的天气有点舒服，因为下了一点点的雨；

自己本身还蛮喜欢雨天，

或许雨天和我自己的性格有点相似吧。

可是今天的雨天却意外地令我有点烦躁，

一整天的心情就是闷闷然后不开心的那种。

从昨晚开始我就像是个没有灵魂的人，

做什么事情都迷迷糊糊的，

真的很讨厌这样的自己。

现在的去我才发现原来我还在盘旋在过去，

原以为我已经成功的从以前的阴影走了出来，原来我还没。。。。

是我把那些记忆隐藏在深处让它慢慢淡化，

还是那个伤口渐渐的结疤了呢？

可是为什么我还会觉得痛，为什么我还感觉到淌血？

为什么我还会因为那些事情而流泪？

为什么那些话是从你口中说出来？

为什么那个人会是你？为什么要是你？

现在的我，就在被你在我结了疤的伤口上捅了一刀，

然后血就一滴一滴地在流，

而心，就像压了千万斤的石头那么沉重。

说实在，原以为我会离那些感觉远远的，而你，把它们给唤回来。

你说你知道我现在的感受是什么，

可是你理解我是在承受着多少的伤痛吗？

你无意的一句话却应验了我一直以来的感觉，

而且在那时的我也知道，原来我说的话你并不曾留意。

或许你根本不知道和不明白你那些话有多伤人，

也难怪的因为伤的那个人毕竟不是你自己 。

你告诉我无论如何你都不会放弃我，

而你伤人的话不止是说过一次；

尽管我一次次的向你保证那些事情不会再发生，

而你却。。。。。。。。。忘记了

再次受伤的伤口，何时复原？

再次受伤的伤口，还能再相信你吗？

再次受伤的伤口，还要再留多少的眼泪？

再次受伤的伤口，需要多长的时间来抚平情绪？

我以为，我会得到新的开始，

我以为，这次的我会开开心心的开始我新的人生，

我以为，以往的一切不会再缠上我，

我以为，我们可以放开一切坦诚相对。

可是现在的我却发现那是多么奢望的期待，

我的期待在你无意的一句话磨碎了，也破灭了我所有的期待。

每当想起你说的那句话，心就痛，很痛恨痛，

而我却只能让血毫无止境的流，

因为此刻的我什么也做不了，默默地承受痛。

你不懂我为了你的一句无意的话流了多少眼泪，

或许是我太过脆弱，或许是我给于你机会来伤我，我犯贱？

或许是我把你看得太重，而我在你心中却是如此的卑微。

还有以后吗？还有未来吗？

还可以期待吗？还可以信任吗？还可以有新的开始吗？

我能复原吗？我能开心吗?我能不再哭了吗？

我能让眼泪不再流吗？我能拥有一个会珍惜我的人吗？

我能拥有那个资格陪在你身边吗？

我能让你对我信任吗？我能让你开心吗？

我的存在只是会让你更加不快乐？

Tutti frutti ^^

Date: 23.04.2012
Location: Tutti Frutti, Bukit Tinggi, Klang
p/s: Looks like so yummy and this is my first time visit tutti frutti, sounds bad huh??@@ Anyway, the flavor i chose was Peach and another flavor chose by my cousin was Mango, taste not bad ^^

Date: 23.04.2012
Location: Tutti Frutti, Bukit Tinggi, Klang
p/s: Snap for fun 1 xD, is this look nice..??

 Again same place and date and also same person ^^

Snap 2 for fun xD

 

 Wahaha...the effect for this photo look alike when i am ready for snapping the photo, her head comes out in sudden...wahaha...xD again snap 3 in that shop ^^

总结：其实今天的我并不是很开心，因为某些原因让我一起身就真的觉得很不爽。没想过今天会和他闹得那么僵，然后完全影响我的心情，虽然事后还是有说话，不过感觉很像很怪。这几天，他的心情忽高忽低，不过我能理解的，我也为他担心可是我却无能为力的为他分担一些痛苦，所以我也不懂我该做什么。只是能在他胡思乱想的时候给与他一些正面的安慰，虽然我不懂有没有对他产生任何作用。希望他能够尽快得好起来啦，看到他这样我也不是很开心。

最甜美的往事

今天，有位男生问我谁是那位我最爱的男生？

不知如何，我很自然的想起你并且告诉那位男生我最爱的是你，虽然我没说出名字。

我真的很奇怪，难道你就是我最爱的人吗？或许吧，不然我也不会那么痛苦和难熬。

虽然我们在一起的时间只有短短的一个多月，不过我知道那时候的我是最幸福和甜蜜的。

即使后来的我在失去你之后很痛苦，可是我并不后悔当初那个选择；

并不是我喜欢被伤害还是什么，是因为那个时候的我的确很幸福也很开心拥有你。

只可惜这一切我只能短暂的拥有，虽然我真的不舍得，可是我不能霸道的强行拥有。

我还记得那时你问我是否可以从情侣变成朋友的那一瞬间，我的心的确很痛很痛；

我知道我不想要放弃和你之间的那段感情，我不要，因为我没有想过和你分开！

可是我知道我不能那样自私完全不去顾虑你的感受，我很挣扎也很矛盾；

那时我真的不懂我该怎么做，我知道如果我不赞成我和你会很辛苦，因为我们一直闹矛盾。

可是如果我赞成，我知道我将会失去你；那时候我真的不懂该怎么做，真的不懂，迷茫。

我想要你开心，毕竟你是我爱的那个人，我当然希望你能开心能幸福，

而且也希望那个陪在你身边的那个人也会是我，而不是其他人。

如果我不赞成，我们会一直一直地为小事而闹矛盾，也间接的连累彼此；

所以那时我徘徊在赞成与不赞成之间，搞到我真的很迷茫，很懊恼。

在那个时候刚巧远在英国的那位朋友在线上跟我聊天，他也察觉到我的迷茫也问我为何事迷茫？

我告诉他在我身上发生的所有，而他劝我赞成你的决定，赞成做回朋友那样对彼此都好。

我说我知道，可是我不舍得放弃那段感情，而他只说女孩，是你的就会是你的，别勉强。

当我看到那番话，眼泪竟不听劝告的流了下来，而身在英国的那位似乎感觉到我的难过；

他说，女孩无论你发生什么事情，你可以跟我倾诉，虽然我不能答应可以在第一时间安慰你，

不过等我一空闲我就会翻阅你留给我的信息，而且我也会尽快地回复你的信息。

那时我看到这番话，我的眼泪像无止境的流了下来，慢慢放声哭泣也抒发我的难过。

后来他还说女孩，你现在必须要坚强地去面对没有你前任男友的生活，

可是你并不孤单因为你还有我的陪伴，而我也会尽我所能地帮助你慢慢从跌倒的地方站起来。

他还说我相信你一定能从跌倒中站起来，放心我会无条件的帮助你，别钻牛角尖；

你只需要时间来平复你的情绪和思路，你一定能地，加油！

在那个时候的我，我真的很感动，很安慰，因为有那样的朋友支持我。

过后，我回复他，抱歉，刚才哭了，所以迟回复他。

而他也很了解的说，在你想哭的时候就哭，别逞强，哭出来你会比较舒服。

我只说谢谢，哭了，心情好很多，也懂我应该要怎么抉择我未来的路。

他说这样就好，记得要好好的照顾自己的身体，别生病了。

我笑说我知道，我不曾失信于对他的承诺，我一定会让自己好起来让他看见昔日的我。

他说那就好，他相信我一定能做得到，要我加油还说欢迎我随时留信息给他，他得去工作了。

那一瞬间，我的确很开心也很感动这位朋友为我所做的一切，真的很感动。

不是每一段友谊在发生决裂后的几个月后，像无事发生般的那样慰问对方的生活。

而且态度就和昔日认识时一模一样，毫无改变，也毫无芥蒂，这的确很难的。

在我失去了我自认最甜蜜的爱情，然而我却得到朋友们的关怀和慰问，不见得我孤单，对吧？

在我最低落的时候，我很庆幸有那位远在英国的朋友陪伴我，虽然他很忙，我能理解。

也就在隔天，我选择尊重你的选择，决定从情侣的身分退回到朋友的身份；

也就在那个时候我知道我得自己坚强去面对所有的问题，再也没有前任男友的陪伴。

而且我只能偷偷的想念前任，同时还要习惯没有前任的拥抱，笑话等等。。。。

日复一日，时间很快的过了三个多月，而我不能百分百的确定我已放下之前的感情；

不过心情倒是平静了不少，慢慢地不再去想念，只会偶尔怀念那时的时光。

第一次在正日有位男友为我庆祝生日，而且准备了一些意外惊喜让我受宠若惊而且还流泪。

在那天所发生的一切，我都不会忘记，实在太深刻了，让我无法忘怀。

虽然到现在我不确定那时的决定是否正确，不过只希望我和他的日子是过的不错，那样就欣慰。

我不是大方，我不是情圣，我只是个普通人，一个需要男生疼爱的女生；

可是并不代表我不曾爱过或者珍惜过，现在我只希望未来我可以找到我要的幸福。

我知道我可以得到，而其他人也能得到他们的幸福！加油！！！

2012

In the brand new year of 2012,

what things you wish to do in this whole year??

I believe everyone is greedy, so do i,

i wish i can stay happy, healthy, and many;

and also wish all my friends can stay happy all these while.

Having down mood currently,

why am i thinks of you for these few days;

i really don't ever understand.

Am i did not work hard to forget everything about you?

Am i fall down again?

Am i have't fully walk and move from past?

I hate myself seriously,

why am i not stay strong when i think of you?

I understand and very clear that there is impossible between you and me,

but i don't even know why i cant delete all the memories,

am i din't delete it or i don't wish to delete it?

I feel pain when those memories appear in my mind,

but i can't tell anyone how pain am i, especially you!

Day by day, i thought i can put down everything in past,

and move on to my new life and let it recover as well;

but why am i cant fully recover?

How long am i going to sustain?

Wehn can i let go everything happened in past?

I'm sorry to all my friends if they know i feeling down,

i know they all will worry about me especially my friend in UK.

I promise my friend that i will be fine in short term,

and i know i can't break the promises between me and my friend.

Hopefully this mood only for short while, i should cheer up.

CHEER, I CAN DO IT!!

15/12/11

If everything goes smooth,

today would be the second month of our annivesary.

Changes always faster than plannning,

never thought this will happen;

but it is happen.

Last month was our first month annivessary,

that time you forgot,

after i hint you said to me happy annivessary.

At that moment i feel so sweet and lovely,

but now everything changed.

Looked back the texts in my mobile,

all those memories that spent with you been recalled.

The first time you said you love me,

the first time you so jealous about me and my guy friend,

the first time you so worry about me when i sick,

the first time you scold me when i think negative,

the first time we argue and so on.

I miss the way you looking at me,

i miss the way you laugh me,

i miss the way you concern me,

i miss the way you love me,

i miss the way you care me,

i miss the way you tease me,

i miss the way you angry me as well.

I miss the way you hug me,

i miss the way you kiss me,

i miss the way you hold me,

i miss the way you for everything.

Today i told you that i miss you,

but what is the respond i get from you?

Between your answer gives me a clear answer,

at that moment i laugh at myself,

why am i think so simple and silly???

Maybe you'll feel frustrating after you saw it,

but yes or no, actually not a big deal for me,

i thinking is that a right choice to tell you i miss you?

I never get an answer for that question,

what i can say is.......

just let it.......

If there is a day or whole month i never find you,

will you miss me all the times?

On and off asking myself those silly question,

between i feel happy when my lecturer told me that

he gradually feel happy with my improvement,

it gaves me motivation to work better in this 2 weeks time,

so.............WORK FOR IT!!!

*struggling*

Struglling struggling struggling,

i hate struggling !!

Why am i so struggling at this moment?

I don't want struggling, i don't want!!

What can i do now?

Im forcing myself not to think about you,

but why it seems like so hard for me?

Am i never try it hard or i don't wish to forget?

Although forcing myself not to concern anything about you,

but seriously im fail to do so.

The more i forcing myself, the more i miss you,

it sounds so silly and naive.

I know i had stand up from where i fall,

even forcing myself use to it with the life without your texts and phone call,

but why am i keep looking and waiting?

You are everything in my mind,

therefore i feel sad and hurt when you treat me cold,

i know i shouldn't do so, i understand.

I really need someone to support me,

i very wish the person is you,

but that is impossible for now, and i know it.

Maybe im too soft to handling this kind of emotion,

i shall learn to be a tough girl.

Stand up from where you fall isn't tough,

but you need to keep move it when those memories appear in your mind;

and that is tough for me,

and that is what makes me struggling as well.

I shall find the way out, i must!

December of 2011 part 1

December of 2011 part 1

What will you do when you facing problem?

Avoid? Face it? Ignore?

I'm struggling yet confusing right now,

what can i do to makes it better?

Recently really got no appetite to have any food,

those food in front of me but i got no mood to have it no matter how delicious it is.

I just only had little bit for whole week,

keep feel dizzy and out of energy and quiet as well.

Even i went to other people's house with my guys friend,

they all keep asking me why i eat so less although the dishes are delicous?

I told them i no appetite to eat and asked them enjoyed.

Luckily im not the only girls, other girls still enjoyed it as well,

after that i found the photo of us for prom night in my collegemate's photo album.

My friend said the photo looks not bad,

and i knows that is the only photo i taken with you on that day.

I download and save it in my laptop as well.

When i joined 2 of my guy friends went for PC fair,

I felt dizzy and not well perhaps not pale face,

but 2 of my guy friends did not realize that at all,lucky.

I thought i can meet the one i miss,

but too bad the person not at there, sad.

After that, had dinner together with my guy friends,

at that moment i only realized both of them quite gentleman.

While they chat about my problems, they just adviced not to think so much,

for the dinner, i only had a bit as well but keep chatting as well.

I sure three of us enjoyed the moment we chatted,

because from this chatting i knew we changed our impression for each other.

1 is my leader, and another is my collegemates;

but i never went out with the collegemate before although we know quite long.

But i know my collegemates really changed his impression about me and my leader,

i think this is the best chance to know each other more deeper.

It is rarely to get a friend in college can chat and share so much with you,

i sure we really appreciated this kind of pure friendship between both gender.

We shared our experience and thinking with each other,

perhaps we can have another chatting like yesterday again.

The whole day, the only thing in my mind is you;

but i know there is nothing i can do at this moment,

i know my friends are worry about me,

but i really need time to remanage it and fnd the way out;

i really appreciate the support from all of you!!

惊喜 vs 伤感

人生就像在一条空无一人的街道上，没有人能知道在这条道路上会有着什么等待我们去发掘，你得一路走下去才能知道这其中的奥妙。也许在这条道路上有着惊喜和伤感的存在，所谓的惊喜就是指快乐的事情；而所谓的伤感是指不顺心的事情。

假设今天的你捡到了惊喜，无疑那会增加你向前迈步的推动力和发掘另一个惊喜的信念。正所谓天下没有白吃的午餐，人生也不会永远一帆风顺，好运也不会只陪伴在你身边。如果今天的你不小心捡到了伤感，没关系，把那伤感当成是磨练并且牢牢记住这次的伤感也时时提醒自己不要在未来的日子里再犯下同样的错误。

我们的人生就像股票，时而高涨，时而低潮，你永远不能预测何时的你处于高峰状况，何时的你处于低潮的状况。这一路的跌跌撞撞是必然的课程，谁也免不了。只有改变自己的态度才能在这人生中继续地走下去，态度往往是其中决定你人生的要素之一。

若不幸，今天的你处于低潮时期，告诉自己没关系，每个人都有低潮的时期并不是只有你一个人处于低潮时期，在世界的另一端会有比你更不幸运的人，所以时时提醒自己你并不是最不幸运的那个。因为无论发生什么事，你会有朋友和家人陪伴在你的身旁帮你加油打气而且他们不会扔下你独自去面对。

看清一个人的真面目通常是在被人背叛或陷害之后才能看清一个人，相信那是一种伤害而那个伤害却会让你懂事和让你成长，换句话说经一事长一智。伤痛后，你会知道人心的险恶还会知道如何保护自己，虽然这或许是很昂贵的代价可是却能让你迅速成长，也教会你如何辨认真心的朋友和虚伪的人。

人往往会在失去的时候才恍然原来自己曾经是如此的幸福而自己却不曾珍惜曾经属于自己的幸福，然而在失去后懊恼不已，那个时候相信已失去的东西已不可能再回到你手里，相信每个人都曾有过这样的感受。我相信，从那开始我们会比之前来的更加珍惜手里紧握着属于我们自己的幸福。

幸福，从来就没有任何定义，处决与你如何定义。我相信人是贪心的，每个人都想拥有每一件美好的事物，我们都希望自己可以寻找属于自己的幸福，然而什么是我们的幸福，恐怕有待自己去寻找自己的幸福了。

p/s: 希望所有的人都可以找到属于自己的幸福！！ =)

"Wood chopstick"

Today i tried a new thing, something kinda like massage, but slightly different with that.

Last week my parent tried that, they feel not bad after they tried,

therefore they tried again for today...wow.....

She was an aunt around 60years old, but she doesn't look like that,

she using a thing kinda like wood chopstick when she started helped my dad.

At first, she use that "wood chopstick" to beat my dad's leg for several minutes.

Later on, i can saw the blue black appear and swelling on my dad's leg,

then she use her hand beat his shoulder, i can saw the difference of my dad's shoulder.

For my dad's case, he feel his leg very tired, therefore the aunt more focus on his leg.

Through that she can know internal health problem, and try to help as well;

after my dad done, my dad feel relax then she called me and helped me for f.o.c @.@

Obviously i bit scared, but still take a try on that *clap clap*

She hold my hand and slowly massage, she said that im so thin opps...!!

She continued said i have a good body shape, so that if i keep maintain like now would be better.

I was wonder, huh?? good body shape?? do i have?? i don't think so...>.<"

Slowly she mentioned my internal health problem, =.=

Ouch!! so pain when she used her thumb to press my hand until i unable say thing *ouch*

Oh no!! both hand also pain, but the feeling of pain was different. =.=

Then, she press my shoulder with her hand and slowly beat it as well, ouch!! so pain.....!!!@.@

But after she helped me beat my shoulder, i feel much relax especially my shoulder ^^

Even though when she beat my shoulder, i unable to say anything because it was painful;

but i can see the result after i tried my own, seems tonight i'll have a nice sleep ^^

She still keep remind me that drink more water as my internal body not very good =(

So...no choice...have to bring my bottle wherever i go (even i do so @.@)

Anyway, this was my new experience hopefully i can try it again by next week =)

Past Memory

It has been a long period i never open my photo album that keep in my room,
i opened it and have a look before i went to bed yesterday.
The content of the photo album include friendship, family relation and my past love relationship.

I'm happy when i saw those photos taken with my primary school...xD
But when i saw those photos taken in secondary schoolmate, i feel complicated >.< Later on i saw the photos taken with my first ex boyfriend in my secondary school, i feel sweet although that was past ^^ I saw those neo print photos taken with my another ex boyfriend, i stunned for few second @.@ Primary friendship lets me know what is friendship about, Secondary friendship lets me know how cruel friendship is. First puppy love let me know the feeling of relationship, Although i did have few relationship, but the puppy love always memorable. xD Although i deleted all the photos taken with ex in my mobile phone, but surprisingly i found those neo print photos with you in the album. Im clear that things unable return when it past, therefore i dare not to regret every decision i made in my life, those are just my memories, memories..... I found that in those few stages in my life, the way to smile is slightly different, i wonder which is the natural and happy smile for me? Happy smiling when i take photos with my close friend, Shy smiling when i takes photo with my puppy love, Complicated smiling when i takes neo print photo with another ex. Among 4 neo print photos, i only found 1 photo quite nice, too bad =.= People says memories is the best thing for human, but certain people not agree with that. Can human live without memories? I guess cannot. For my opinion, memories is the part of past i've gone through, it not necessary must be sweet memory, it also can be sour, bitter and sad. Past just is a part of my memory, and also remind me not to repeat what i did in past
Having happy life and create more and more happy memories in my life ^^

Doubt

Hmm....
How come recently so much things happened on me??
Seems like i not really can take it, o.O
Anyway, instead of bother troublesome problem,
i would rather spend time on my health..
Headache, please go away from me ok??

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

I've been asking myself,
am i choose a wrong way to go on??
But do i have a way back after i choose current way?
It seems no, i think i just can stick to my decision even it will occur more misunderstand.
I know that isn't a best way,
at least better than i choose another way.

I just can say sorry,
i really try my best to work it,really really try my best.
Those misunderstand, i just can choose to ignore it...
My feeling, do you ever understand?

When i face those misunderstand from you guys,
what answer or explanation that you guys expect me to give?
I know you guys concern about me,
but i got my reason for remaining silence.
It doesn't mean i do not care those misunderstand,
i do care, but what else i can do except remain silence?

I just can say...
Thing is not what you guy think of...
When the day come, you guys will understand my reason.
Even i doubt with my decision, but i got no more choice can choose.

The answer part 1

My eye feel so dry, lucky my eye still seems alright.
Without telling,no one will know that i cried few times for today.
Hmm....how many times i had been cry??
Let me count for it....err....
More than 5 times?
I think around that, not really sure of it..

Today i got some answer from "you"
But those answer makes me cried badly,
i'm glad that you never knew i crying while you chatting with me.
It's that a hint for me to give up?
I not really sure with that,seriously....

Never thought it hunting "you" until "you" dare not step out,
never thought it will become a problem between "you" and me,
never thought this will happen on me.
I thought everything will be fine after i walked out from past,
I thought it will have a brand new chapter with "you",
I thought i still have chance?

Today i only know that it cause "you" dare not step further,
it hunting you every time "you" think of it,
it become the main reason blocking "you" and me,
i really really never think of it at all.

This is third time i heard this kind of reason,
different is...different guy talked different reason to me.
I really don't know what respond shall i give you.
The reason "you" told me really out of my expectation,
but what else i can say since "you" told me the reason??

33 hours

Finally i had break my record!!
What record is it??
The longest time i never sleep!!
My previous record was busy chatting with my guy friend,
until 6something in the morning only go to bed.
I thought that will be my record....
but i never thought i break my record on 25-26/2/2011.
I never sleep for 33 hours,
it sound kinda crazy right?

Maybe there is nothing special for somebody,
but seriously i really break my record.
In that 33 hours,
i really exhausted,sleepy and so on.
What i did in this 33 hours?

I woke up at 8am+
After that reading up the assignment i had received from my member,
and then searching information until 1:30pm;
then rush to college for appointment until 3:50pm only reach home.
after that still need to cinema for purchased ticket,
and go for my class.

After back from my class, feel quite tired.
And then keep on doing my stuff and looking for my members,
too bad its hard to get my member as well, luckily he appear.
After that keep rushing my assignment as well until next day.
Obviously i like group assignment,but depend who is the person i group with.
In this semester, this group work.....
seriously i got no expectation.

I keep playing songs in case i falling asleep half way,
i feel so miss "him" in sudden,
therefore i send a message to him, too bad that no reply from him.
After i done all the things i need to do, i went for breakfast;
and went to college for attending class.
During the class, i really feel sleepy but i keep looking around.
Luckily my group able to send our assignments to lecturer,
but before that we still editing our references with rush.

After class i have to stay at beauty saloon for 2 hours,
i having my lunch with my mum and then go home.
When the moment i reached home,
seriously i couldn't take it anymore.....
After done changed my cloth,i straight away sleep until i been wake.
Having few hours nap, feel much better.

Watched "the mechanic" in cinema after dinner,
when i reach home, i still feel sleepy..
End up enjoy my sleeping until next day.
Maybe its long period that i do not have a nice sleep,
but i guess i still have to rush with my other assignments before final @.@

" Great Day "

Today let me introduce a movie that i feel nice screening in Malaysia, and when i watched this movie in the cinema; i can't control my tears drop from my eyes for twice. Maybe some of the people feel this is not the best movie, but at least for me, it is a touching storyline for the movie.



Title: Great Day 天天好天

Actors: My Fm's DJ and many Malaysian actors and actress

Synopsis:
"Great Day" tells the story of two uncles who live in an old folks home. Aggravated by an argument and with the help of Ah Hock and Ultraman, the two men decide to escape from the home and find their children, just to show off whose children are better. The fun catches on with odd circumstances one after another, but in the end of the day it's going to be a big reunion at the old folk's home.





Title of the song: 彩虹的家 ( this is the theme song for the movie of " Great Day "

Sing by : Fyonne 陈慧莹& Stephanie 刘佩芯 ( Both of the singers are the winner of the competition that held in Malaysia's Astro.)

For me, i heard this song in the movie for first time, i like this song so much; especially the lyric of the song.




This picture actually is the ending of the movie, from the beginning of the movie until the end of the movie, i feel this is a nice movie. I'm so proud that some if the actors having their own occupation which is being a DJ in a famous radio station in Malaysia could bring us such good movie. Hope they can keep work on it!!!





The poster of the movie that i saw in the cinema, i never regret that watched this movie with my family on last weekend. Although the duration of the movie is short, but it is a nice movie for me ^^

Hopefully next year will have another new movie screening during Chinese new year.

End of 2010 (part 2)

Finally reach the last day of 2010.
What kind of feeling you have when reach the last day of 2010?
For me,there is nothing much special feel to 2010;
It's because i hardly have happy moment.
Although i got no much happy memories in 2010,
but i still appreciate the thing i passed through.

Everyone is planing where to count down and many,
although i wish to join my friend for count down;
but end up i choose stay at home bbq with my relatives.=)
For others,maybe will feel bored,
but actually not enjoy with friends,it do bring you another type of feeling.
How long you spend with your family?
Do you spend your time with your friends,lover,career more than parent?

Maybe it will become bit bored if bbq with relatives,
but i think it can be fun to play around with cousins while bbq.=]
I should appreciate the time can enjoy with cousins,
i know that kind of moment will be the best memories.

There are many things i haven't done,
there are many things i had done;
there are many things that i wish to done.
Too bad for the thing i haven't done,
Great that for the things i done no matter how i done it.

What is your wishes in 2011?
For me, i wish everything can goes smooth for everyone,
the thing i haven't done in 2010,i will complete it in 2011.xD
Hopefully after the things i passed through in 2010,
can bring me another experience of life and mind set.

No matter how you gonna spend your last day,
i wish that could have the memorable day for you.
Let's enjoy the moment before 2010 end,
and get ready for 2011 ^^
"Happy New Year "

End of 2010 (part 1)

I shall say goodbye to 2010,and shall welcome 2011.
Wonder why these few days keep remind some memories.
No matter sweet or sad, all come into my mind.
In this years,there were many things happened on me,
it really makes me exhausted and upset.
Hope in the new year, everything will be fine.

I'm surprise when you got into my memories,
although you never appreciate me and the thing i did to you.
Honestly,i never blame how you treat me.
I know i'm silly for not blaming you with the way you treat me.
Yet you give me the chance to become tough after you hurt me.
But i also clear that was just a part of my memories.
I'll start my new chapter after i leave with happily.

I'm glad that i can know "you",
even "you" told me that we did meet before,
but too bad that "you" and me also can't remember when "we" meet.
"you" do give me lots of support when i need.
"you" do helps me alot when i need.
"you" are the person who make me fall to "you".

Although i don't know what will happen to "you" and me.
I know "you" busy with your work,and stress with it.
But i never say much about that and just keep waiting "you" online.
Sometime i also asking myself,what am i doing?
I clear that which role i playing in front of "you",
and i also appreciate the role i having right now in front of "you".
Hope we can have chance to meet again when "you" back from England.

Other than that, i realized in my memories there include others.
Which is friendship and family and others.
I'm glad that when i need,my friends stay beside me as well.
Although i very envy those people having partner,
but i know i will have a guy who really love me in future.
So i decided spend more time with my friends and family as well.
At the same time,i will spend time to "you".

I hope my exist can bring "you" comfortable,happy.
I'll try to hide my feeling toward "you" until "you" get your answer.
I'll do the thing i promise "you"
I don't wish the way i fall to "you" bring "you"troublesome.
So.....shhh...just keep it...^^