Thinking about "you"

Maybe i don't know many things about "you",

Maybe i don't ever have the chance to know more about "you",

Maybe i don't ever have the chance to start relationship with "you",

Maybe i don't ever have the chance to chat with "you" anymore,

Maybe i got no chance to meet "you",

Maybe Maybe Maybe and Maybe..

I do try my best to slowly know more about "you",

but it seems the more i want to know, the far "you" walk away,

The more i want to know "your" feeling, but i fail....

I do try many ways to know and understand what "you" think of, but i fail..

I don't know where can know about "you", therefore i refer from horoscope..

I know it sound silly and stupid, but is the way i can do without let "you" know.

According the horoscope, i feel quite accurate for "your" character..

Is it so hard to let me walk in to "your" heart?

Is it so hard to let me know "your" feeling?

Is it i expect too much on "you" or too care about "you"?

There was an month plus after that incident,

I did force myself to forget about "you", did use busy as excuse not to think about "you",

but end up, i fail...wonder why will i fail?? No matter how i also will think of "you"

p/s: Last friday i get a message from a number, when i click and read, it was 'i miss you'
That time i wonder, who was the person who sent me that text to my mobile phone?
But after i think, i think it was my ex bf if i no mistaken; anyway, i did not reply as well....=)

"Wood chopstick"

Today i tried a new thing, something kinda like massage, but slightly different with that.

Last week my parent tried that, they feel not bad after they tried,

therefore they tried again for today...wow.....

She was an aunt around 60years old, but she doesn't look like that,

she using a thing kinda like wood chopstick when she started helped my dad.

At first, she use that "wood chopstick" to beat my dad's leg for several minutes.

Later on, i can saw the blue black appear and swelling on my dad's leg,

then she use her hand beat his shoulder, i can saw the difference of my dad's shoulder.

For my dad's case, he feel his leg very tired, therefore the aunt more focus on his leg.

Through that she can know internal health problem, and try to help as well;

after my dad done, my dad feel relax then she called me and helped me for f.o.c @.@

Obviously i bit scared, but still take a try on that *clap clap*

She hold my hand and slowly massage, she said that im so thin opps...!!

She continued said i have a good body shape, so that if i keep maintain like now would be better.

I was wonder, huh?? good body shape?? do i have?? i don't think so...>.<"

Slowly she mentioned my internal health problem, =.=

Ouch!! so pain when she used her thumb to press my hand until i unable say thing *ouch*

Oh no!! both hand also pain, but the feeling of pain was different. =.=

Then, she press my shoulder with her hand and slowly beat it as well, ouch!! so pain.....!!!@.@

But after she helped me beat my shoulder, i feel much relax especially my shoulder ^^

Even though when she beat my shoulder, i unable to say anything because it was painful;

but i can see the result after i tried my own, seems tonight i'll have a nice sleep ^^

She still keep remind me that drink more water as my internal body not very good =(

So...no choice...have to bring my bottle wherever i go (even i do so @.@)

Anyway, this was my new experience hopefully i can try it again by next week =)

Special sitting

I received email from my coordinator past few days,

the content of the email was about the special sitting for coming exam....@.@

o.O i got "special sitting" for coming exam???

Because of the clashes of the subject, therefore they managed such for the students??

Hmm....i feel not very fair to student....>.<"

According to the email, i need to reach college before 9:30am for 13/4/2011,

then i'll sit for exam of a subject, after that will be quarantine from 12:10pm-2:10pm.

In this period i need to bring my food and study material along, i guess they will keep my mobile

phone as well, to avoid i contact with other people.

After 2:10pm i will sit for another subject with all the classmates in exam hall...

I can go home after i done the exam...sound tired...isn't it???

M's gathering

Date : 02.04.2011

Time: 18:30-20:30

Location: Bukit Tinggi Domino Pizza

Purpose: Celebrate 3 girls get well result in their exam!!

From left: 5....4....3...2....1.... (smile ^^)
















Date: 03.04.2011

Time: 10:00-1300

Location: Bukit Tinggi Greenbox

Purpose: Sing k together as too long no sing k.

From left: 1.....5......2......3..... cheese ^^

回忆里的梦

你，在那里好吗？
好久没有你的消息了，但愿你一切安好。
虽然我认为我们之间的友谊破碎了，
但我还是默默地期望你安好。

人生如戏，戏如人生，
每一套戏都会有结局的一天，
每一个宴席也会有散席的一天，
哪怕是人生的每一样事务，也会有离开或结束的一天。

我们之间的友谊，
从开始到现在。。。。。。应该渐渐迈入结束（自己的想法），
虽然有点意外，但也算预料之中的事吧。

从你开始知道我对你的感觉，
我曾担心你会因此而逃避，但终究你没有。
一次一次的幻想我们之间会发生的事情，
甚至看到其他情侣之间的甜蜜，也会幻想如果是我们会怎样？
慢慢的开始越想越多，慢慢的越来越在乎。

而你的态度却是依然不变，
却让我一直猜测你对我的态度，
或许是我太高估我自己了吧，，以为你会对我有一丝丝的情感；
而你却从来没有真真地对我反映你的想法，
只是说慢慢来，慢慢了解彼此。

是敷衍我吗？是你婉转的拒绝吗？是藉口吗？
我不懂，真真得不懂，也无法理解。
或许真的是我一厢情愿吧，
等待的同时，我也问了自己，你是否值得我等待？
可是迟迟没有答案，直到。。。。。

那天我们再一次聊起我们的问题，
才让我发现原来是你无法接受那段过去，所以拖到现在，
甚至当我问你是否对我有好感，你却说你不想说。
我再也按奈不住，
决定写了一封蛮长的信给你知道我的想法。
其实那是为了给我自己一个交待，
只想让自己别留下遗憾，却让你误会我在逼你做决定。

到现在，我还很清楚地记得你那时对我说的狠话；
也因为你的狠话，让我知道其实我的出现只是拖累你，
或许那就是你的真心话，所以才对我说那些狠话。
但是我并没有责怪你，不是因为我傻，
而是这件事情，我处理不当。

我也不想去追究是你还是我没有清楚游戏规则，
还是谁没有站在对方的立场想想。
这一切仿佛不再重要，
尤其在你对我说了那些狠话之后，
那个痛，我还清晰的记着，清晰地感觉到。

而那个痛，就时时提醒我不能在睡。
或许你不清楚，那时的狠话，对我的伤害是多大，
不过对你而言，应该不重要吧。
我很累，你懂吗？
可是我却没有后悔过，
我不想让我的人生里有后悔，所以我会坦然面对我的感情，
即使失败，也不会怨，因为我曾尝试，曾面对。

虽然那件事后，我们并没有任何交谈，
就像陌生人似，我也不会后悔。
但，觉得有些可惜毁了我们之间的友谊。
事情从发生到现在，虽然不是很久，
但我已学会慢慢放下，不再那么情绪化。

那，就像是美丽的梦，
梦，也会有清醒的一天。
答案，会随着时间慢慢出现，
伤痕，会随着时间慢慢愈合。

你会怎么看待我这个人，我并不在乎，
你认为那时是在强迫你给我答案也罢，
我也不想去解释，因为没必要。
我只需忠于自己的情感，自己的原则，
其他的，不想理会。
如果你真的相信我，你就会知道那封信并不是逼你，
而是告诉你我的心情，
同时也想给我自己一个交待，是否该放弃还是等待。

事到如今，我已经知道我该怎么做，
偶尔，还会想起我们之间的回忆，
可是只是怀念，别无其他念头。
也会尽能力，放下那些不切实际的幻想和感觉。

事情也算是结束了，
未来会是如何，没有力气去想，
我也不是死缠烂打的人，你的意思我明白。
现在的你，应该是很开心吧。
最后很想对你说声对不起，我的出现让你这么不开心。

Past Memory

It has been a long period i never open my photo album that keep in my room,
i opened it and have a look before i went to bed yesterday.
The content of the photo album include friendship, family relation and my past love relationship.

I'm happy when i saw those photos taken with my primary school...xD
But when i saw those photos taken in secondary schoolmate, i feel complicated >.< Later on i saw the photos taken with my first ex boyfriend in my secondary school, i feel sweet although that was past ^^ I saw those neo print photos taken with my another ex boyfriend, i stunned for few second @.@ Primary friendship lets me know what is friendship about, Secondary friendship lets me know how cruel friendship is. First puppy love let me know the feeling of relationship, Although i did have few relationship, but the puppy love always memorable. xD Although i deleted all the photos taken with ex in my mobile phone, but surprisingly i found those neo print photos with you in the album. Im clear that things unable return when it past, therefore i dare not to regret every decision i made in my life, those are just my memories, memories..... I found that in those few stages in my life, the way to smile is slightly different, i wonder which is the natural and happy smile for me? Happy smiling when i take photos with my close friend, Shy smiling when i takes photo with my puppy love, Complicated smiling when i takes neo print photo with another ex. Among 4 neo print photos, i only found 1 photo quite nice, too bad =.= People says memories is the best thing for human, but certain people not agree with that. Can human live without memories? I guess cannot. For my opinion, memories is the part of past i've gone through, it not necessary must be sweet memory, it also can be sour, bitter and sad. Past just is a part of my memory, and also remind me not to repeat what i did in past
Having happy life and create more and more happy memories in my life ^^

Doubt

Hmm....
How come recently so much things happened on me??
Seems like i not really can take it, o.O
Anyway, instead of bother troublesome problem,
i would rather spend time on my health..
Headache, please go away from me ok??

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

I've been asking myself,
am i choose a wrong way to go on??
But do i have a way back after i choose current way?
It seems no, i think i just can stick to my decision even it will occur more misunderstand.
I know that isn't a best way,
at least better than i choose another way.

I just can say sorry,
i really try my best to work it,really really try my best.
Those misunderstand, i just can choose to ignore it...
My feeling, do you ever understand?

When i face those misunderstand from you guys,
what answer or explanation that you guys expect me to give?
I know you guys concern about me,
but i got my reason for remaining silence.
It doesn't mean i do not care those misunderstand,
i do care, but what else i can do except remain silence?

I just can say...
Thing is not what you guy think of...
When the day come, you guys will understand my reason.
Even i doubt with my decision, but i got no more choice can choose.