December of 2011 part 1

December of 2011 part 1

What will you do when you facing problem?

Avoid? Face it? Ignore?

I'm struggling yet confusing right now,

what can i do to makes it better?

Recently really got no appetite to have any food,

those food in front of me but i got no mood to have it no matter how delicious it is.

I just only had little bit for whole week,

keep feel dizzy and out of energy and quiet as well.

Even i went to other people's house with my guys friend,

they all keep asking me why i eat so less although the dishes are delicous?

I told them i no appetite to eat and asked them enjoyed.

Luckily im not the only girls, other girls still enjoyed it as well,

after that i found the photo of us for prom night in my collegemate's photo album.

My friend said the photo looks not bad,

and i knows that is the only photo i taken with you on that day.

I download and save it in my laptop as well.

When i joined 2 of my guy friends went for PC fair,

I felt dizzy and not well perhaps not pale face,

but 2 of my guy friends did not realize that at all,lucky.

I thought i can meet the one i miss,

but too bad the person not at there, sad.

After that, had dinner together with my guy friends,

at that moment i only realized both of them quite gentleman.

While they chat about my problems, they just adviced not to think so much,

for the dinner, i only had a bit as well but keep chatting as well.

I sure three of us enjoyed the moment we chatted,

because from this chatting i knew we changed our impression for each other.

1 is my leader, and another is my collegemates;

but i never went out with the collegemate before although we know quite long.

But i know my collegemates really changed his impression about me and my leader,

i think this is the best chance to know each other more deeper.

It is rarely to get a friend in college can chat and share so much with you,

i sure we really appreciated this kind of pure friendship between both gender.

We shared our experience and thinking with each other,

perhaps we can have another chatting like yesterday again.

The whole day, the only thing in my mind is you;

but i know there is nothing i can do at this moment,

i know my friends are worry about me,

but i really need time to remanage it and fnd the way out;

i really appreciate the support from all of you!!

Thank You

It had been few days the incident happened,
slowly i can calm down when i think of it.
Actually i know that isn't a big deal,
but after that incident happened,
i try to stand up at the place i fall down.

After few days,
mood getting better,
at least not that emotional,
at least i can calm down,
at least i can know the fact,
at least i can get answer.

Really appreciate the friends who concern about me,
i know they are worry about me when they know im sad.
I know they try to comfort me as well,
i know they want to make sure that im in good condition,
i know they don't wish i think of that thing,
i know they just wish im happy.

I'm touch when my friends so worry about me,
i'm touch when my friends comfort me,
i'm touch when my friends give me a call,
i'm touch when they willing spend their time to listen my problem.
But i feel sorry to them to make them worry about me,
therefore i'll not make myself sad for that incident.

But today one of my friend asked me about "your" thing,
my first reaction was shock, abit speechless,
after that i smile to her and told her my feeling,
will she understand or not,
i no idea, but i do not tell her in detail,
don't know why.
Perhaps it will be better after day by day...=)
Cheer up =P

p/s: thank for all my friends...i appreciate xD

曾经。友谊

曾经，我们一起读书；
曾经，我们一起分享；
曾经，我们一起流泪；
曾经，我们一起快乐；
曾经，我们一起伤心；
曾经，我们一起疯狂；
曾经，我们一起开怀大笑；
曾经，我们一起打打闹闹；
曾经，我们一起分享秘密；
曾经，我们一起互相扶持；
曾经，我们一起挺身而出；
曾经，我们一起述说心事；
曾经，我们一起抵抗所有流言蜚语。。。。。


种种的曾经塑造今时的我们；
难免会缅怀曾经和你们一起的岁月；
那时天真的我们，会比现在的我们还要快乐；
这些种种，只能留在回忆里缅怀；
在伤心难过的时候，让自己傻傻地笑曾经的我们；
谢谢和我一起经历过曾经的朋友们，没有你们，也就没有那时的回忆。。

outing photo 1

hmm...eating fries and reading magazine...
sound relax wor my friend...
yet i playing with my camera...
first time play with it..not bad not bad..
kekeke...
Location: Bizz cafe at bukit tinggi..

hahaha..
snap-ing each other with our drink that we ordered..
Hey, don't keep snap faster try the drink that we order....kekkee..

hahaha..taken by me..is it nice?
Location: Bukit Tinggi Bizz Cafe
2 friends having dinner at there.
Can we go to get a advertisement from darlie?
since we smile so sweet...kekekeke^^
1 me and 2 friend's showed..

2 Lemon Tail from Bizz Cafe at bukit tinggi
Ordered by me and my friend..
Nice Nice,worth to recommend...
p/s: those photos taken at 23/09/09

"Sometime i don't say it out doesn't mean i don't know,
Something i not very sure how could i tell you all?
Sometime i remain silent just because i don't wish thing become complicated,
Sometime i do explain why don't you all just trust it yet keep asking and spreading,
Sometime what you all see doesn't mean you know everything through what you see.
Sometime being low profile also hard,
Sometime ignore doesn't mean everything did not happen."

Friendship

Friendship, perhaps everyone need it no matter when.
But how we define the word of "friendship"?
What is the different between friendship and stranger?
For me, friendship mean the person stay beside you when you need he/she/them.
Is everyone think so? I not sure of it.
Ya, everyone has different mind and different way to define the word friendship and i also cannot said the way how i define the word is accurate than others.
But if the person who stay beside you when you feel down yet he/she/them want you to do something that you dislike and said it friendship is like how we get point through credit card to get the reward that we want? And said if you don't do it, then she/he/them don't talk with you or don't be your friend anymore?
No doubt that the person really help you much when you down,need help and give you advice,is friendship=we earn point through credit card to get the reward that we want to?
I know the person can meant it if said don't talk with you, because you are not the only person who know the person.
At that moment i feel like, oh gosh, is that call friendship?
Or i used to be how my friend treat me from primary school until now?
My friends will stay beside me when i need them, and will concern and worry about me, but they never think what to get any reward from me even after i happy back or what.
I also stay beside them when them need me no matter how busy am i, just want them happy thats all, thats what i wish my friend can stay happy every moment.
I know for someone it sound silly and childish, is the world do not have real and pure friendship between each other?
Or human choose not to believe the word friendship??
I cannot comment how the person define the word friendship isn't correct, perhaps i really used to be how my friend and i treat each other.
As long my friend and i feel comfortable with the way how we treat each other.....

Acknowledgement

These few days too many thing happen on me, how to describe my feeling? perhaps is mixed.
Firstly i would like to thanks amos, because when i down and he call me from singapore and comfort me as a friend, and also advice me to be stronger, i really appreciate it.
Secondly i would like to thanks cnlow, he also listen and comfort and worry me when he knew i down even he and amos also very busy with their work, very very appreacite it.
Thirdly,my daddy. Even how busy is daddy still can comfort me and advice me, very lucky to have you, my daddy. Daddy is the best!!
Next, my friend jeff. Most of the time i feel down i will find him and chat, even now he is in the singapore army, but he still chat with me when he online,thanks you very much.
Then, my cousin bro tommi. Even he shoot me when he knew my problem but still listen it and give me some opinion and advice, i know he is very concern about me.
Hmm, next is princess wen and davis. i know even davis didn't find me,but i sure he very worry about me, so do princess wen...thanks thanks lot.
After that, the most important person, my friend elaine. I know both of us having some problem to face it, but we still still stay beside each other when one party need another party. We need to cheer up...let's us do it together friend..

p/s: Those people i mention above, are the people that beside me when i very very down and worry about me. I promise you all and myself, i will find back the smiling that i lost in past and also will treat myself better and will not make you all worry about me. Give me 2 months time to let me work out, i believe everything will going better after that. And also 1 of my team member, thanks that you keep on "sour" me and make me laugh and keep ask me am i ok? I really appreciate it, i will remember those people who help me before....very very thanks you..

Ice-skating day

These few days many thing changed, as a human those things changed really hard to take it and accept it anyhow i knew i have to. Those close friends knew what happened i knew they were worrying also, i just can say thanks for those friends support so far i still able to sustain. For those who don't know, i just can say sorry because i don't want influence you guys mood. I knew some of you having exam soon hope you can understand me and don't angry me as well. Those who keep on concern me i very very appreciate it, thanks to them.

Yesterday i went for Ice skating with my friend, i hope i can learn it as i can. When i enter the skating place with my friend was bit late around 3 something, after done all the stuff we went to skate. For a beginner sure will feel nervous but i am glad that i having a good and strict instructor to teach me skate, so within an hour i slowly know how to skate even not pro as others haha...and i very appreciate and thanks the so call "strict instructor" teach me the way how to skate, if not sure i waste my money for entry ticket. At first when i stepped on the ice i don't know how to skate and need my "instructor" to teach me and hold my hand to learn, after that got a girl fall down and stand in front of me but i don't know how so 1 of the girl's friend ask me do i need his help to walk in front of the girl? Then i said ok, so the guy hold my hand and said don't scare, bend my body in front bit so that will more stable, after that i said thanks to the guy who help me. Where was my "instructor"? i also not sure but when my "instructor" saw the guy hold my hand then come back and teach me the way how to skate hahaha..such a funny and strict "instructor".. I fall down once when i not balance but my friend can't help me to stand up so need the person who work in skating to help me stand up after fall down, but my pant and shirt was wet. That will not make me nervous to skate because i have a strict and funny "instructor"..This "instructor" i just can say stict and funny..haha..

After skating we went to watch movie after that having dinner together, but after skate i slowly feel that leg was very pain but that did not influence my mood to enjoy the movie and the dinner..Luckily when we stand aside in skating place,my "instructor" help me massage bit my leg so that my leg will not that pain..hmm, how to say....is it such a good good "instructor"? hehe, anyway i feel very happy even after that i feel very tired and went to sleep before midnight...even my leg and body also feel very very pain and tired but for me, i feel worth because i can learn the thing that i want to learn for so long so no matter how pain i also can bear with it...Lastly i would like to say thanks you for my funny and strict "instructor"...i really have a nice day with my friend..thanks you my friend...So bad that i didn't take picture with my friend...

recently.

Today i click in My Fm official website and view some DJ's blog, when i click in one of the DJ Jason's blog i read several pages of his blog then i saw a comment that make me think many thing. The comment is about love and reality, then i copy it and sent to my friend perhaps she see it. Sometimes i was thinking what is the way that human use when they being lovelorn? What is the thing make you confirm that you are fall in love? How can you sure that the person you love also love you too? I keep on think and think but got no answer, perhaps i got no much experience about it.

Recently i chat with a friend which i know him almost 9 years, almost a year i did not meet him since last time we help a friend celebrate birthday. He told me that when he saw my picture and felt that i changed a lots then i answered him that i still the same still the girl he know since seconary till now, he said he felt i changed become much better then i just said alright. After that he told me many things especially about my ex bf, then the next day i saw my ex bf online so i chat with him luckily he still remember me. He also told me something about he and his girlfriend, actually i told my ex bf that i felt he really love his gf. He answered me long time no see i become clever and asked me how come i can feel it? I said from the moment i saw him in the shopping mall he looked sad i realized that he really love his gf, he said that he saw me too. Actually i really want to say hi to him, but his gf is around and i don't wish my exist will make his gf misunderstand so i choose smile to him then just pass by the place he stand at. From the conversation between me and my ex i can feel that he really love his gf, he is a good guy that hard to find. He can treat his gf very well and care his gf hope his gf can appreciate him as well. After we break i knew he felt guilty and regret, but thats all will become one of the sweet memory in my secondary school. I am very glad that know them as my friend and pass many thing before, THANKS FRIENDS!!!

p/s: Finally my "daddy" reply my message, know "daddy" is safe and good i also feel reassurance. "daddy" no need apologize, as long you are alright.

worry..

You already disappear for few days, do you know that i very worry about you?
Where are you right now? is that everything is alright? What happen to you?
This few questions always appear in my mind, and i really very worry about you...
You did not reply my text message that i sent to you, i remember that last time you send the text message for me when you did not see me in msn, this time you did not appear but you did not reply. I been waiting your message for few days, everytime also make me disappointed.

x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x
You seldom tell me that you are crying, but today you did, that time my first feeling was shock,then become worry and also a bit angry but i didn't show my anger to you because i know you are sensitive person.
Your problem seems to become more complicated, but what i can help you is limited, except worry still worry haiz..
You told me that you like the air after rainy day, i told you i also because for me is fresh and nice
I feel like you lost control in your emotional, then i apologize to you, you ask me why?
Actually i also know you're suffering i also wish you can solve it as soon as possible, but all thing like getting more complicated even you let it be or find the solution yourself, then you ask me what you should do? What can you do? Why people like to force you? Even you stay at the corner there why still ant to force you, can't they leave some space for you?
That time i was speechless, from the beginnng you and i also know this problem create by whom and that is not easy to solve, hopefully you can find the way out.
I know you don't wish get involve and try to escape, but you really need to make a decision and force yourself too much because i will worry. Hope the both "you" will alright...

p/s: at here i wish to wish one of my friend can happy, because when the time i meet him accidently in shopping mall he looks like not happy after chat with him i know what the reason make him not happy perhaps he can get his real love.....

thanks

Headache few days still haven't recover even worst, haiz.. This morning "boss" just called me after he knew i didn't eat medicine even headache then we chat a lots, he said he curious that why recently i so listened to his word? I answered him that i don't know, i am not happy yet i am trying to make myself hapy back because "daddy" told me that if certain thing you don't know how to do for next, just leave it make your own mood happy back then only find the solution, perhaps this is a good way for me. Sometime i was thinking why can't i mature as "daddy"? Today i got the answer i want, don't know how to explain my feeling. Err, it can be sad,upset, and many feeling mix together. Perhaps i wish something could change, but is that possible? "daddy" said to me,if i got the answer then just do, but don't regret once i do. I did try to don't care so much, don't bother so much but end up you complain to me. I knew i too care about you, but what you make me feel is im not important for you, perhaps im nothing for you. I also wish i fell wrong but... Erm, actually i also want to thanks all the friends who know im sick and concern about me and give me some support and opinion to me while im lost my direction i really appreciate thanks. Today i chat with a friend who came back from Beijing, long time i didn't chat with him. I very enjoy when i chat with him, we chat lots of problems and jokes make me keep on laughing. I very miss the time when the time we both are single and can chat many things, today i feel like we both like back to the past, very enjoy and happy. Since he went to Beijing we seldom contact each other, but i believe we are good friend even we know each other not very long. Later i have to attend class, today is last class for this week after that when i come back i will go out with my parent for dinner, hopefully today will be a good and happy day..

are you ok?

hehe...today my cousin accidentally found the profile i wish to find..later i will go to see the profile as well..hehe..finally today is a raining day...after rain the weather very good and very nice..i like rainy day as well...every time raining...your word automatically will appear in my mind and make me reminds on you even it passed more than 1 year..long time we did not meet each other hope that you can pass your life with happy..hmm..have to prepare myself for study for my test and final exam..this time i have to get the high marks as i can..tonight my dinner...finally can eat with my family but during the dinner..my brother keep on saying and satire me until i speechless...haiz.this kind of brother...don't know should happy or sad..when he not around then i feel boring and lonely, but when he came back i feel...don't know how to describe...hahaha...opps..now i only remind that i need to find a person...he seems like having some problem, but...i hard to find him..hopefully he is alright with his problem..my another "brother" anything you can find me and share with me..do you know that day you said half to me about your problem then i seldom see you online after that day..i very worry about you..anyway..i hope that you can online as you can because i want to know what happen to you and make you so suffer..hopefully that you are alright at there...

thanks for everything..

today i received a message from the one of the person who i very care, that is my brother..obviously he is not my real brother, but he is a very good friend of mine and i always treat him as my brother, and he also treat me as his sister..actually i quite glad that i can know him from online game then we leave each other contact number and keep contact until now..i know him already 3 years, in this 3 years even though argued with him but our relationship still the same without changes..just now his message make me feel very happy and his word useful to me. he won't force me do something that i dislike and will help me if i need his help, sometime i am thinking if he really is my brother what will happen? is it still same like now? or worst than my relationship with my real brother? haha..in this 3 years he and me pass through everything, many people will suspect what is our relationship? couple? best friend? sister and brother? or what? even my mum also will ask me why i so close with him? i just answer her that he is my very good friend that i very appreciate, me and he share everything no matter in study, love, live and many..very thanks his message for me, his message really give me a lots of support. even though now he at Kampar studying luckily he still remember me this jie jie as well..hehe..di di..jie jie very happy that can know you, and i sure you know what jie jie treat you also..thanks i really appreciate..

everything change..

last night actually is should be a happy day, but something change. it can say totally change on me, because of that i only realize that this world is too cruel, really cruel.. after cry i feel better, i tell myself..i must be happy no matter what happen, i still got my friend around me and support me..yesterday really appreciate my good friend stay beside me even she studying her Law. .she is the person who know me quite well among all my friend, really want say thank you and appreciate oh..i know everything happen sure have reason but i will treat it as a challenge in my life..i still remember what promises i gave and i will do it as well. even though you give up on me, but i want you know that i will always remember your advise..ok la..i don't want my own story i not want share my problem at here, but i just want let you know that i can be better and stand up again and will not lose my direction. i know you teach me very hard and i know i am your failure example for you but i will prove to you i will do it..no matter how hard i will continue sustain and do my thing as well..don't worry friend, i promise you all that i can be back my own self and can be better because i also want change myself and make a list to me and let me do for everyday!!!

i will not give up..

why this few days there are many things happen around me?last night my friend suddenly change her personal message in msn then my another friend ask me what happen and make me feel blur what is going on. is it somebody wish to watch great movie on me that is why keep on making trouble on me? or the person want to test me that is why make so many thing behind on me? actually what is that person's motive? i know it well, you want me beg on you don't do anything because you know too many things about me? you think will i beg you to stop all those thing right now? from last night until now i also try my best and tell my best that cannot mix up and do not mix up,i must change that. every problem i having now i just treat it as my challenge for me in my life, my friend ask me how am i going to solve the problem? i no answer them,i just said i will handle it by myself and wouldn't let same thing happen on me again. i thought after we graduate from secondary our problem can solve it automatic, but you still keep on search my news after graduate till now? will you feel what you do from past till now is very childish? will you feel bored? is tat the thing you can make on me?? if you think a bit failure will make me fall down and couldn't stand up again then you can watch a great movie on me, then i will tell you that it will not happen for me, i am not the person you know in secondary school..

i believe i can do it...

ytday after met my boss,i did think many. i knw he juz wan i dun continue like now,n i oso knw tat he care me as well. thx lo..hehe..wat i nid to do nw is slowly build up my confident, then i oni can do the thing i wan. i knw wat i wan n i will do it oso. my prob is the main thng tat stop me so i nid to solve my prob n make sure it wouldnt mix up wit other thng. i believe tat i can do it as well, i knw wat i wan n knw how to do it. perhaps i juz lost my direction for temporary, m i giving myself an excuses?i dont know,maybe my boss will feel it too...haha..i thnk my boss sure wan vomit n feel i very hard to teach..my slogan for today is i believe i can do it...perhaps i wouldn't make u down again..hehe..

thank you..

Today i have a meeting with a friend,can he consider as my friend?i don't think so,seems like him do more than a friend will do,him teach me many thing and i have learn many thing from him,i think i call he as my boss or my teacher is suitable...haha.. I do very appreciate the things that him teach me,advises,and many from him. Maybe he know i appreciate maybe he didn't know,it doesn't matter because i know that i appreciate everything that he teach me is enough. Is fate that i can know him, and he always beside me. As he said to me there is something stop me even though i know those theory that he told me, i don't know whether i admit or not but i sure he know there is something stop me. I know i always make he disappointed to me,but he still did not give up wanna thank to him. i just want to tell you that your advises i know and i will think about it..erm...i believe i can prove it to you, perhaps i can become the girl who confidently bet with you during cny..

How are you?

Actually i quite worry about you,recently i know you facing some problem and you couldn't solve it. I knew what is your problem and did give you advise about that,but i can understand your feeling as well. I know you don't wish you make a wrong decision and make yourself regret, that is why until now you still thinking about that problem and make yourself unhappy. No matter what happen i just wish you can be happy,and friends are around and accompany you. When i chat with you i also can feel that you unhappy but i just keep quiet and accompany chat with you. We told each other many thing that others don't know,then we comfort each other,maybe others will think we are crazy but we just lend our hand when friend need and try to help them, even can't help them we still can accompany them at least they wouldn't feel alone. Sincerely hope you can happy back soon and you can get your way to solve your problem as well, no matter what decision you make i sure will support you because i know every decision that you make sure have your own reason. Don't forget that if you need help you can find me, i will share with you and accompany you when you need all the time. Lastly i wish to say thank that when i facing my problem you always accompany me and share with me. Wish our friendship can last forever, and always be happy.