15/12/11

If everything goes smooth,

today would be the second month of our annivesary.

Changes always faster than plannning,

never thought this will happen;

but it is happen.

Last month was our first month annivessary,

that time you forgot,

after i hint you said to me happy annivessary.

At that moment i feel so sweet and lovely,

but now everything changed.

Looked back the texts in my mobile,

all those memories that spent with you been recalled.

The first time you said you love me,

the first time you so jealous about me and my guy friend,

the first time you so worry about me when i sick,

the first time you scold me when i think negative,

the first time we argue and so on.

I miss the way you looking at me,

i miss the way you laugh me,

i miss the way you concern me,

i miss the way you love me,

i miss the way you care me,

i miss the way you tease me,

i miss the way you angry me as well.

I miss the way you hug me,

i miss the way you kiss me,

i miss the way you hold me,

i miss the way you for everything.

Today i told you that i miss you,

but what is the respond i get from you?

Between your answer gives me a clear answer,

at that moment i laugh at myself,

why am i think so simple and silly???

Maybe you'll feel frustrating after you saw it,

but yes or no, actually not a big deal for me,

i thinking is that a right choice to tell you i miss you?

I never get an answer for that question,

what i can say is.......

just let it.......

If there is a day or whole month i never find you,

will you miss me all the times?

On and off asking myself those silly question,

between i feel happy when my lecturer told me that

he gradually feel happy with my improvement,

it gaves me motivation to work better in this 2 weeks time,

so.............WORK FOR IT!!!

*struggling*

Struglling struggling struggling,

i hate struggling !!

Why am i so struggling at this moment?

I don't want struggling, i don't want!!

What can i do now?

Im forcing myself not to think about you,

but why it seems like so hard for me?

Am i never try it hard or i don't wish to forget?

Although forcing myself not to concern anything about you,

but seriously im fail to do so.

The more i forcing myself, the more i miss you,

it sounds so silly and naive.

I know i had stand up from where i fall,

even forcing myself use to it with the life without your texts and phone call,

but why am i keep looking and waiting?

You are everything in my mind,

therefore i feel sad and hurt when you treat me cold,

i know i shouldn't do so, i understand.

I really need someone to support me,

i very wish the person is you,

but that is impossible for now, and i know it.

Maybe im too soft to handling this kind of emotion,

i shall learn to be a tough girl.

Stand up from where you fall isn't tough,

but you need to keep move it when those memories appear in your mind;

and that is tough for me,

and that is what makes me struggling as well.

I shall find the way out, i must!

December of 2011 part 1

December of 2011 part 1

What will you do when you facing problem?

Avoid? Face it? Ignore?

I'm struggling yet confusing right now,

what can i do to makes it better?

Recently really got no appetite to have any food,

those food in front of me but i got no mood to have it no matter how delicious it is.

I just only had little bit for whole week,

keep feel dizzy and out of energy and quiet as well.

Even i went to other people's house with my guys friend,

they all keep asking me why i eat so less although the dishes are delicous?

I told them i no appetite to eat and asked them enjoyed.

Luckily im not the only girls, other girls still enjoyed it as well,

after that i found the photo of us for prom night in my collegemate's photo album.

My friend said the photo looks not bad,

and i knows that is the only photo i taken with you on that day.

I download and save it in my laptop as well.

When i joined 2 of my guy friends went for PC fair,

I felt dizzy and not well perhaps not pale face,

but 2 of my guy friends did not realize that at all,lucky.

I thought i can meet the one i miss,

but too bad the person not at there, sad.

After that, had dinner together with my guy friends,

at that moment i only realized both of them quite gentleman.

While they chat about my problems, they just adviced not to think so much,

for the dinner, i only had a bit as well but keep chatting as well.

I sure three of us enjoyed the moment we chatted,

because from this chatting i knew we changed our impression for each other.

1 is my leader, and another is my collegemates;

but i never went out with the collegemate before although we know quite long.

But i know my collegemates really changed his impression about me and my leader,

i think this is the best chance to know each other more deeper.

It is rarely to get a friend in college can chat and share so much with you,

i sure we really appreciated this kind of pure friendship between both gender.

We shared our experience and thinking with each other,

perhaps we can have another chatting like yesterday again.

The whole day, the only thing in my mind is you;

but i know there is nothing i can do at this moment,

i know my friends are worry about me,

but i really need time to remanage it and fnd the way out;

i really appreciate the support from all of you!!

Actual Celebration of My Bday 2011

31/10/2011

Let's me store it in my memory of my brain,
because today is a meaningful day for you and me.
I never expect i could have such celebration with you,seriously.
What thing so special and makes me so unforgettable?

Midnight Session:

Around 2350, you call me and chat with me as usual,
until 0000 you said happy birthday with a kiss via mobile,
this little thing can makes me so happy,silly right?
After that we keep on chat for 10minutes plus,
only chat in msn as we still need to rush our things.

Morning Session:

Awake around 0430,super sleepy as i only sleep 2 hours,
after awake need to continue revise my notes as having final examination at 9am.
Im late to catch the bus as late finish prepare all my stuff,
end up still able catch the 0730am bus with my friend,continue discuss topic;
while waiting for 0830am morning call someone wake up. =)
Once reach my college,super starving buy a bread for myself,
at the same time prepare exam mood before enter to exam hall,nervous.
So glad that my college mates wish me happy birthday,happy;
some of them ask me why am i dress so to college?
I ask them why ask so? They answered never see i dress so LOL~
Lets go into the exam hall and sit for exam!!

Afternoon Session:

Too bad, i couldn't finish my paper =(
After finish my paper,go to computer lab and tell someone i done my exam.
Ops,he is busying rush his work, nevermind reply those wishes in my facebook,
continue waiting someone to fetch me =)
While waiting,i call my gf for chatting and kill time as well,
finally, the person i wait reach and its time to enjoy ^^

We chatting in the car while facing some traffic jam,
but he gives me first thing while waiting traffic jam,i feel touch and lovely.
I watching the video made by him, i really happy and lovely,
i never expect got a guy willing made a video for me.
Ops,seems like enter wrong parking session for the shopping mall,
he gives up and pay the ticket fees and here is the 2nd thing i got from him.
Before he pay the ticket fees to the auto pay machine,
he ask me listen is his car audio got sound before he leave his car,
then i heard his voice appear and tell me many things and slowly my tears drop down,
after that he sing a song for me,at the moment i really very touch.
Although others will not appreciate what he did,but i will;
because i really appreciate what he do for me all the while.

Evening and Night Session:

We go to a restaurant which sell Taiwanese food in a shopping mall,
after that we go to take our movie ticket and looking the text book i need for my uni.
First time enter gold class cinema for a movie with him,
he really gives me lot of surprise on that day ^^
After movie, we have our coffee in Starbuck and chit chat and snap some ugly photos,
due to lack time to rest, we decide back home after coffee and have some rest.


My feeling:

I dislike to have exam on my birthday, and this is first time to have it;
but i really appreciate what he=Mr.J do for me all the while we know each other until now.

First time got a guy willing spend his time and do all the things just to want me
happy and make the date memorable between me and mr.J, i really appreciate mr.J.

This year, i really got a memorable birthday celebration and i really enjoy it,
although this is the first time celebrate with mr.J,i really happy and feel lovely.

Other than that, i also need to thanks my parent whom allow me go out
more than 12hours and allow i go for my birthday celebration on actual day :D

The Earlier Celebration in 2011

Date : 29/10/2011

Location: Ferris Cafe ( Bandar Botanic )

Purpose: My earlier celebration of my birthday+ gathering

- The cake that I choose and my friend pay for it ^^

- Snap a photo with the cake =)

- Thanks for the part time pretty singer sing a birthday song to me when the waiter of the cafe take out the cake, and also thanks for the handsome singer play the birthday song with guitar, so nice and enjoyable even got a bit shy ( first time got such good service )

Date : 29/10/2011

Location: Ferris Cafe ( Bandar Botanic )

Purpose: My earlier celebration of my birthday+ gathering

- The black beg with purple ribbon is the present I request from my friends as they don't know what i want. :-)

- The birthday card from all my friends, and the wishes inside is so funny, but i appreciate ^^

Date : 29/10/2011

Location: Ferris Cafe ( Bandar Botanic )

Purpose: My earlier celebration of my birthday+ gathering

- Make a wish~ Make a wish~

- After that blow the candle and the pretty singer sing the last sentences of the birthday song.....nice nice :D

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p/s: This year of my birthday celebration is happier than last year because last year my friend

did not celebrate with me as well. I appreciate that they plan this earlier celebration for me, even

the present, cake, the birthday card are choose by my own and they just pay the money, but I

really happy with it because I can choose the thing I want yet they are not wasting their money

to buy something that I don't really use it in future. First time celebrate in cafe and the singer

sing a birthday song to me, although the environment of the cafe are not high, but I appreciate

that I can have such service in my life for first time =)

Butterfly by Murai

Olivia Ong, a Singaporean singer who has a good voice.
In the album of " best of Olivia" i found this song very nice, love it so much <3
Although this song have 2 language which is Chinese and English, but she still can sing it so well.
I'll share the lyric out below, hope you all will like it. *Enjoy*

Butterfly- Olivia Ong feat Mirai Girls

是我在你身边我还不懂
What are you thinking I don't know
无法看懂你无情的心态
Baby please learn in my eyes
我懂我的魅力还是不够
What do you want now I don't know
在你心目中我是否还在
Won't you give it one more try
我们是否已经走到爱情的终点
But you keep it to yourself
不必说已经太明显
Any know that you I gonna leave me anyway
I can never make it stay
何必再拖延时间

Flying butterfly, it's gonna be alright
别伤心，just go, I know 我只需要一点时间
Flying butterfly, I need strength to go oh baby
fly fly 飞向你要的空间

已经到了分手的时候
What are you thinking I don't know
也许你开始感到内疚
Too late baby,快放手
也许我看起来潇洒
But what's still I wanna say I love you
也许我们还能做个朋友
all you do is break my heart
我们已经走到了爱情的终点
But you never understand
不必说已经太明显
Any knew that you but gonna leave me anyway
I can never make it stay
何必再拖延时间

Flying butterfly, it's gonna be alright
别哭泣，just go, I know 我只需要一点时间
Flying butterfly, I needed strength to go oh baby
fly fly 飞向你要的空间

oh~~ it's gonna be alright now
oh~~ fly baby

Flying butterfly, it's gonna be alright
别哭泣，just go, I know 我只需要一点时间
Flying butterfly, I needed strength to go oh baby
fly fly 飞向你要的空间
Flying butterfly, it's gonna be alright
别哭泣，just go, I know 我只需要一点时间
Flying butterfly, I needed strength to go oh baby
fly fly 飞向你要的空间

惊喜 vs 伤感

人生就像在一条空无一人的街道上，没有人能知道在这条道路上会有着什么等待我们去发掘，你得一路走下去才能知道这其中的奥妙。也许在这条道路上有着惊喜和伤感的存在，所谓的惊喜就是指快乐的事情；而所谓的伤感是指不顺心的事情。

假设今天的你捡到了惊喜，无疑那会增加你向前迈步的推动力和发掘另一个惊喜的信念。正所谓天下没有白吃的午餐，人生也不会永远一帆风顺，好运也不会只陪伴在你身边。如果今天的你不小心捡到了伤感，没关系，把那伤感当成是磨练并且牢牢记住这次的伤感也时时提醒自己不要在未来的日子里再犯下同样的错误。

我们的人生就像股票，时而高涨，时而低潮，你永远不能预测何时的你处于高峰状况，何时的你处于低潮的状况。这一路的跌跌撞撞是必然的课程，谁也免不了。只有改变自己的态度才能在这人生中继续地走下去，态度往往是其中决定你人生的要素之一。

若不幸，今天的你处于低潮时期，告诉自己没关系，每个人都有低潮的时期并不是只有你一个人处于低潮时期，在世界的另一端会有比你更不幸运的人，所以时时提醒自己你并不是最不幸运的那个。因为无论发生什么事，你会有朋友和家人陪伴在你的身旁帮你加油打气而且他们不会扔下你独自去面对。

看清一个人的真面目通常是在被人背叛或陷害之后才能看清一个人，相信那是一种伤害而那个伤害却会让你懂事和让你成长，换句话说经一事长一智。伤痛后，你会知道人心的险恶还会知道如何保护自己，虽然这或许是很昂贵的代价可是却能让你迅速成长，也教会你如何辨认真心的朋友和虚伪的人。

人往往会在失去的时候才恍然原来自己曾经是如此的幸福而自己却不曾珍惜曾经属于自己的幸福，然而在失去后懊恼不已，那个时候相信已失去的东西已不可能再回到你手里，相信每个人都曾有过这样的感受。我相信，从那开始我们会比之前来的更加珍惜手里紧握着属于我们自己的幸福。

幸福，从来就没有任何定义，处决与你如何定义。我相信人是贪心的，每个人都想拥有每一件美好的事物，我们都希望自己可以寻找属于自己的幸福，然而什么是我们的幸福，恐怕有待自己去寻找自己的幸福了。

p/s: 希望所有的人都可以找到属于自己的幸福！！ =)