worry..

You already disappear for few days, do you know that i very worry about you?
Where are you right now? is that everything is alright? What happen to you?
This few questions always appear in my mind, and i really very worry about you...
You did not reply my text message that i sent to you, i remember that last time you send the text message for me when you did not see me in msn, this time you did not appear but you did not reply. I been waiting your message for few days, everytime also make me disappointed.

x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x
You seldom tell me that you are crying, but today you did, that time my first feeling was shock,then become worry and also a bit angry but i didn't show my anger to you because i know you are sensitive person.
Your problem seems to become more complicated, but what i can help you is limited, except worry still worry haiz..
You told me that you like the air after rainy day, i told you i also because for me is fresh and nice
I feel like you lost control in your emotional, then i apologize to you, you ask me why?
Actually i also know you're suffering i also wish you can solve it as soon as possible, but all thing like getting more complicated even you let it be or find the solution yourself, then you ask me what you should do? What can you do? Why people like to force you? Even you stay at the corner there why still ant to force you, can't they leave some space for you?
That time i was speechless, from the beginnng you and i also know this problem create by whom and that is not easy to solve, hopefully you can find the way out.
I know you don't wish get involve and try to escape, but you really need to make a decision and force yourself too much because i will worry. Hope the both "you" will alright...

p/s: at here i wish to wish one of my friend can happy, because when the time i meet him accidently in shopping mall he looks like not happy after chat with him i know what the reason make him not happy perhaps he can get his real love.....

college life

Few days did not see "daddy"online a bit worry, even i send message to "daddy" also no reply hmm,wonder what happen to my "daddy". "daddy" where are you???Last night i was not enough sleep and having headache when i wake up, really don't wish go to study but i have to. Whole day like fishing in the class, the morning class was alright but when reach the afternoon class i started to fishing in the class and my friend keep on disturb me and don't let me fall asleep hahaha, should i thanks him or blame him?? Luckily he still keep on chat with me if not i guess i slept in class, every Tuesday i also feel tired after finish class, but my friend call me as "sho po" because he said i keep on laugh alone like a crazy girl, i wonder am i like a crazy girl??I having a rest when we having half an hour break before started a new class, but after that i feel more worst even feel want to vomid, my friend shock when he saw me suddenly lay down and ask me what happened. After finish the class my friend ask me becareful while driving, i said ok,i will then having a nap when i reach home. Today no more fishing in the class but just keep quiet while lecturer teaching, maybe feel nothing i can say or chat with my friend. I have to prepare for my coming exam, seems like very hard and have to study hard. Mummy today ask me when will i have exam? I answered her coming soon she said better study hard. I have a good time with you last week, i very enjoy the time when i with you even the time we spent together is less but i guess and believe that we are enjoy and thanks for give us a good time to spend together...

thanks

Headache few days still haven't recover even worst, haiz.. This morning "boss" just called me after he knew i didn't eat medicine even headache then we chat a lots, he said he curious that why recently i so listened to his word? I answered him that i don't know, i am not happy yet i am trying to make myself hapy back because "daddy" told me that if certain thing you don't know how to do for next, just leave it make your own mood happy back then only find the solution, perhaps this is a good way for me. Sometime i was thinking why can't i mature as "daddy"? Today i got the answer i want, don't know how to explain my feeling. Err, it can be sad,upset, and many feeling mix together. Perhaps i wish something could change, but is that possible? "daddy" said to me,if i got the answer then just do, but don't regret once i do. I did try to don't care so much, don't bother so much but end up you complain to me. I knew i too care about you, but what you make me feel is im not important for you, perhaps im nothing for you. I also wish i fell wrong but... Erm, actually i also want to thanks all the friends who know im sick and concern about me and give me some support and opinion to me while im lost my direction i really appreciate thanks. Today i chat with a friend who came back from Beijing, long time i didn't chat with him. I very enjoy when i chat with him, we chat lots of problems and jokes make me keep on laughing. I very miss the time when the time we both are single and can chat many things, today i feel like we both like back to the past, very enjoy and happy. Since he went to Beijing we seldom contact each other, but i believe we are good friend even we know each other not very long. Later i have to attend class, today is last class for this week after that when i come back i will go out with my parent for dinner, hopefully today will be a good and happy day..

not feeling well

This morning not feeling well, because when i wake up at 6:30am my head was very heavy and pain then i continue sleep until my mum called me. Recently i sleep early before 12am but still can not feeling well, wonder what the problem that cause me feel not well? Whole day my head very heavy and pain, feel like no energy to do anything luckily today i do not have any class if not i don't know how am i pay attention. Yesterday i having class on evening, then i was run from the car park till the class because i seldom late to class and i worry the lecturer was in the class, lucky he wasn't there and not only me late to class. After finish the class i only realized raining and i didn't bring my umbrella so have to run to my car, end up my bag,pant,hair and shirt was wet. Then i have to pack my dinner alone, when i reach home i was very cold and quickly changed my pant and shirt. I feel very tired after finished my dinner but i still bear till 10:30pm only go to my bed and listening song until i sleep. Perhaps after this chinese new year i will become very busy, because i know my quizes,mid term,assignments,replacement classes will come to me after chinese new year, so now is the sweet time for me to relax and keep my energy after that my panda eye will appear hehehe...That day i read one of my friend's blog, even i not very close with her but i realized that she changed. Maybe the changes of her is good, perhaps she can live happily and appreciate whatever she having. I remember got a person told me before, he said he couldn't understand me how come i can change my mood so fast yet he also realized that i changed. He told me that he miss the girl that he know before not the one had changed. That time i was asking myself silently is that worth? my changes is good for me or bad?

unhappy day

Today......hmm...not very happy..
keep on listening the same songs but bit disappointed because "daddy"didn't online..
i worry about "daddy" because sick still can play game,really like a child...haha..
but also have to thanks "daddy" that accompany me when i need last night..thanks you "daddy"
today i mostly keep quiet and do my thing feel like don't wish to talk because i not in mood,
sometime i am thinking how could be 2 people from different background become friend?
every people have different opinion to a thing, how could they communicate?
sometime is me too care about you or you didn't care me at all?
even i knew that's the fact and truth but i still wish it won't become true...but unluckily it's not..
fact could not change,even you did not tell me anything but i know what i feel is correct..
you said i keep on change my mood,but you never think why will i keep on change it easily..
i told you before that my mood change sure got something happen,but you never listen it..
when certain thing happen you don't know try to use another way to think about it,you just think from your side only..
perhaps is me too care about you and make me become like this..


they said why their 2 children look different when facing exam?
X is too relax and yet Y is very nervous?
but they will not know actually X is nervous than Y..
not X relax but both of you did not realize how nervous is X...and no one ask X whether nervous or not,X feel neglected and sad but no one know..
they said they don't know when X having exam,but did they know even X tell them when X having their exam could they lower the volume while they watching tv?
is X look like relax when X having exam?
X know they have high expectation but X can't reach,X also sad but who know?

problem??

I don't know how am i going to start this blog to express my feeling, it had been some times that i did not update my blog. Recently, facing some problem but when thing happen i did not tell anyone of my friend, i just keep it alone and start to think the way to solve it. Friend, i know you facing some problem, don't worry i will help you to solve those problem with you. Hehe..i don't know why i like to discuss the problem with you when you tell me your problem, i enjoy the time with you. Don't worry no matter what happen i still will stand beside you as i can. My problem..i also don't know how to describe also, perhaps i can use time to think and find the solution to solve the problem. I didn't tell anyone that what problem that i facing, because i don't wish to become their burden when they having and facing their own problem. I don't wish they unhappy because of me maybe i also need to think the way to solve by myself, don't worry i know what am i doing right now. Thanks friend for understand that why i didn't tell you my problem when i face it, give me some time to solve it, if i really can't bear then i will find you and i also know that you will always beside me wherever you are. I know you are concern about me, don't worry me. I know every problem is a challenge in my life, if i can solve it that mean i learn something and gain experience from there. in this world nothing is free, if you want to get or gain something you must pay something.

this few days i chat quite lots with her, slowly i know many things that i don't know in past. i not sure after i know those is good or bad for me, but when she said i just quiet and listening without give her any advice or comment. is her word make me like this? i not sure...perhaps is not..

08/10/08

yesterday he online again, and he did find me and chat. this time he still ask me the same thing, which is how are you?then i just answer his question i said so so, and asked him back how are you? he answered that just like that,still same and still alone. after that he tried to explain to me that that day he said break not because of the girl, end up he and the girl also no together. when i heard that i just said past already, no need explain to me. i know he still worry about me, he knew he hurt me quite deep so he want to make sure that i ok maybe he feel guilty to me but all that also past. certain hurt and pain it doesn't recover in short term, even long term also will feel pain and will not recover easily. slowly and slowly i feel much better after few weeks make myself busying with my stuff till very late only rest, i knew if i continue like that i sure will fall sick but i don't wish i still got time to think other things to remind him and those memory that me and him passed through. after that i sent him a message said that i just wish he happy, no matter he couple with who i also will wish him and i also said that i feel much better asked him no need worry about me. maybe got people will feel i stupid why still send message to him, but i also treat him as a friend only, no more others.. i don't wish to hate him i know its tired if i hate someone, maybe its better that i treat him as a normal friend that i having..

p/s: today i went to dentist appoinment again,haiz..very pain..thanks for your forgiveness..i will appreciate with that..will not repeat same thing again..